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I don't want my daughter...

First of all, this isn't a troll.
I am so sick of my 3 1/2 year old special needs child. I honestly resent her so much. She comes near me and I cringe and want to get away from her. She doesn't listen (don't tell me it is typical for the age, cause I have taken care of other kids and it isn't to the extreme she is) and is constantly getting into something. Whether it be a drawer, cupboard, my purse or diaper bag. If it isn't getting into something she is climbing something or pulling on the blinds (I live in an apartment so I can't take them down or replace them). I can't even pee without her doing something!!! She won't/can't sleep in her own bed (crib) and has literally cried for 6 hours non stop (per her dr.s orders) and would have kept going if I didn't give in and get her. I haven't had a break since she was born and won't be getting one for awhile. I have thought about putting her up for adoption (con't)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 AM on May. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (15)
  • but the thought of living without her breaks my heart. Yet, having to deal with her 24/7 makes me resent her. When I play with her she can't stay focused and when it comes time for me to do anything else she has a major meltdown which makes me resent her more and not want to be around her or do anything with her. I do love her, I am just done with her being a brat. I won't do it but I wonder at times if I need to give her one good beating for her to "get it." Like I said, I won't do it, I am just at my wits end. I would kill myself before hurting her (I have attempted and I have cut to keep from taking it out on her). I don't know what to do anymore. Thanks for letting me vent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • This sounds really sad. Is there not a family member that would be willing to adopt. I think you need to see a doctor there is something wrong with you. I could not imagine having feelings like that toward any of my children. You need to let someone that wants a child take care of her
    robinalbright

    Answer by robinalbright at 2:38 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • Im so sorry you are going through this hon,,,you need to get into counseling asap,,for you and for your child, you might be dealing with depression issues that are not your fault,,,but need to be addressed right now,,,,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • oh my... ,my heart breaks for her :( Its sounds like she's crying out for attention, love and direction. Special needs children are just that, they will need that extra help from someone, and sometimes it may be hard get that across, especially at that age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • sorry.. mama, my heart breaks for both of you, I guess I just identify mre with her because I have two brothers with special needs. But yes, you need help asap......some counceling and maybe even a behavoiral specialist
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • OP here. My daughter does have a behavioral therapist and I am in counseling, but I am also pregnant and know that the hormones are out of control. She does get almost all of my attention, so much so, she doesn't know how to entertain herself or be by herself. Like I said, I love her so much, I just can't take anymore. I need a break and I have no one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • where is her father? your new babies father? your family? friends? Okay your tired. you obviously need a break regularly. Can she go to daycare one day a week. Have you a friend who can have her for a morning on a regular basis? I know you say she is way worse than the others, but maybe they were unusually well behaved. A normal three yr old in my house follows me everywhere, calls under the toilet door, goes through everything all the time, can't stay focused on a task for more than a few minutes. She is obviously more than you can deal with right now, and it is sad that you resent her, but comparing her to your other kids isn't going to help. This is who she is, you had her & promised to love her! Organise breaks for yourself, and talk to your dr about how you feel. You need help and drastic action
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 5:10 AM on May. 4, 2010


  • In Georgia there is an organization called "Avita" if you apply for their family support, you can get respite services. (and they will pay for that respite) It sounds like you really need some respite!! There is also a nation wide organization called "ARC". They may be able to help you find special needs respite in your area.  You can also enroll her in school. This won't help you much right now since summer is coming up, but since she is special needs, she can start school at three (at least in Georgia!) Did you receive services from Babies-can't-wait, or any other birth-3 program?


    You can email me, VickiLee30533@hotmail.com, and I will do my best to help you find the help and support that you need. I have a special needs child. My DD is 7 years old but developmentally 8-12 months old. I understand your frustration.


     


    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 7:58 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • PS- if you don't want to email me, at least come back and post your City and State so I can start researching and help you find the help you need!! The BEST help I have ever received was suggestions from other special needs parents. You need a support network that includes special needs parents (a support group in your area would be best) because there are a lot of resources out there for parents like us, but they are not advertised!! Unless you go and find them, you will generally never know they exist.
    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 8:05 AM on May. 4, 2010

  • Special needs kids are a handful and you need help! Great advice so far! Find someone in your area to help you out and give you a break! You need to have some time for yourself (even if it is just to pee!) What about putting an ad out (include that she's special needs) for a high school student to come care for her in your home w/ you there? That way its cheaper, you can get some stuff done or take a bath or a nap and you can watch over her care. Check to see if there are groups or types of therapy that she qualifies for that can help her and you figure out what punishments are going to work for her and a way for the 2 of you to communicate. Does she know sign language? Oftentimes the acting out is frustration over their inability to communicate their needs, wishes, and feelings. Take her to a park or somewhere outside & let her run out her energy, 3 yr olds are a handful! Ask for help you need it! good luck!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:33 AM on May. 4, 2010

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