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I just found out that my soon-to-be 14 year old had a couple of beers over the weekend, claims it was the first time, not sure I believe him. I know that two kids were with him but have no proof that they drank also but am pretty sure, do I tell their parents? I would want to know even if someone suspected it but then a part of me says I have no concrete proof.

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Asked by momtoryanh at 12:15 PM on May. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (15)
  • i understand parents concern for the kids, i really do. but sometimes i think moms on here make such a big deal out of things that arent that big of a deal. do you mean to tell me you never had a few beers when you were 14? because i did, and now im a respectable women & mother with a college degree.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:16 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • You can still tell their parents the situation, let them be the judge there. I would want to know if my child was around that, even if I couldn't prove he was drinking, so I could  talk with him about my concerns. 

    So I personally say you don't need the concrete proof in order to tell on the other children. I think and would hope their parents would appreciate the heads up. 


    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:18 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Purplebutterfly....

    I also drank when I was a lot younger. I'm still a responsible adult. However I still could have had a lot of bad things happen when I was younger and drinking. So I don't condone it.

    I wouldn't be off my hinges if my child tried alcohol. However do you really ever know just how much they've tried? if they've tried that what else have they tried? We were all teens at one time so it's understandable. However we still need to warn teens of the dangers.

    I was once at a party, these 2 girls drank themselves silly. We left and a friend called us to come back to help with those girls. One was throwing up in the toilet awake and all. The other was in her car laying in a blanket of her own vomit. No one DARED to touch her because they didn't want throw up on them? So I picked her up and said I'm taking her to the hospital. They ALL tried to talk me out of it warning I'd get an underage drinking ticket. I said

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:22 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • i agree with skeptic..i'd want to know, just so we could open a line of communication with our son, and with the parents of the kids he hangs out with. it doesn't mean you're accusing anyone of anything, just that you're a concerned parent.
    and for the record..not every 14yo sneaks beer or other things illegal behind their parents backs. its not a 'normal' teenage thing, anymore than saying all teenagers have sex or become pregnant. it may happen, but that doesn't mean its the norm. just keep the lines of communication open with your child..after all, at 14, he is still a child in need of direction from his parents...and discipline, if need be.

    Answer by dullscissors at 12:22 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I would tell their parents that your child was drinking and that they were present. You can't assume they were drinking.. that's up to the parents...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • PURPUL I actually didnt have beers when I was 14. Thats simply NOT okay! Though you turned out just fine doesn't mean other kids drinking at this age didnt turn into alcoholics. And regardless its illegal.
    I think you need to talk to your son and tell him why its wrong to drink at this age, discipline him, and talk to the parents about what may have happened with their kids. Even if they didnt drink it may be right around the corner for them.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 12:23 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I would rather take an underage drinking ticket over here possibly dying. They said put her in a cold bath. I couldn't believe how stupid they were thinking. Sure put her in shock with a cold shower.

    I didn't know this girl, I didn't know if it was the first time she'd drank, if she was allergic, if she was slipped a pill, if she was using drugs... I didn't know. It surprised me that none of the other teens had thought twice about anything! Ignorant to the dangers they were flirting with. 
    I ended up driving her up to the hospital, had to hold her head up while pushing her into the hospital with a wheel chair. There was a cop that just happened to be in the ER waiting room. started questioning me.. who is she. I honestly didn't know. I grabbed her registration and such out of her cars glove box. I said let me take care of her then I'll come talk with you. He never bothered me after that.
    Some kids are unaware of the danger

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:31 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I would want you to tell me if my kid was with your child that night. I would let them know that you found out that your child was drinking and you know that their child was there at the time, But you are not sure if they were drinking as well.

    Answer by Shelii at 12:32 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • im saying that i think it should be condoned or that you should be going to the store and buying the beer for your kids - but i know at least where i grew up, everyone experimented as teenagers. with basically everything, beer, weed, coke. it was a phase we call went through and then grew out of. and i know that alot of bad things can happen, and thats something ive often thought about how i will handle with my children. now if i found out my son was experimenting with coke, i might do something pretty extreme. but alcohol is so universally accepted and yes it is illegal, but i think that if you freak out and punish your kids and get there friends in trouble, there just going to be very upset with you and want to rebel even more and are not going to trust you to tell you things anymore. so i do think talking, and explaining the dangers of things is important, but just remember this is a tricky stage & you dont want to make it

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:34 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • worse

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:34 PM on May. 4, 2010

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