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Old people and young moms...

Okay, so I am 22 years old. I had my daughter when I was 19. Im married, have been with my husband (in a relationship) since we were 13. Got married at 18. We got our own place, both had (im a sahm now) wonderful jobs. Then we decided to have our daughter. Why do old people look down on us? My husband works his butt off, I actually raise my daughter rather than letting others raise her for me, and yet still, some of the older people in our own families frown upon us "kids, having kids." Why?! My husbands grandmom had his mom when she was 16, now she says "Well it was different then." How?! I beg to differ. Can anyonne help me understand?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I didn't have my child at 19.. I had her at 21, but I'm 22, just like you.. and no one looks down on us. I think it's prolly just your family. Don't listen to them. You're doing good! Just keep up the good work mommy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • wow, we have very similar situations. I married at 18 and had my son a few weeks before turning 20. I was married before I got pregnant. My husband is a few years older than me and was out of college, had a good job, and owned his own home. I am 23 now with 2 boys. Older mother still tend to look down on me. I have no idea why. We have a great stable life, I am a loving SAHM and am very proud of the job I do raising my children.
    laciD

    Answer by laciD at 3:58 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • old people just always need something to complain about cuz there getting close to death & they have nothing else to do
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:58 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I have mothers in our play group and my son's t-ball team make comments about my age all the time (most of these mothers are in their 30's, 40's, and a few even in there 50's)
    laciD

    Answer by laciD at 3:59 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • When I think about "kids having kids" I think about 16 years old and younger. And I'm not saying that super young moms aren't good moms, but at 16, I was just a child. I'm 24 now and I can see how much of my youth that would have taken away. I also hate to hear how it was different then. BUT then, there were alot less divorces and now, ppl divorce like they change clothes. But I don't see how it's different really.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I couldn't tell you why, alot of people are just set in their own ways of thinking and nothing will change that. All that matters is that YOU know your a good mother and your children are well taken care of. I was at Wal Mart once with my daughter (I am 24, had her when I was 20) and she was getting a little impatient from standing in the customer service line for so long and kept telling me how she wanted to go home, to the park, to go eat, bla bla bla. Well this old woman was walking by and says "There's a cure for that, it's called birth control." My mouth just dropped. She just kept walking off and I wanted so badly to chase her down and break her hip in the middle of Wal Mart! Luckily I kept my self in check and just brushed it off. Anyways.. moral of the story is.. screw what people think
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 4:02 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Your guess is as good as mine...I was 16 when I had my first child. I have 6 now, from the ages of 6-15. It's just pure ignorance if you ask me. Some people are quick to judge that's just it. People always assume that I have tons and tons of goverment assistance and that all of my children have different fathers. Which they don't...they all are from 1 man. Same man I've been with since I was 15 and we are still together and no assistance for us because we're they ones who laid down and had these kids. We don't need hand outs and have never asked! So screw everybody who thinks young mothers cant' be good moms!! You go girl.
    yolandasix

    Answer by yolandasix at 4:05 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • LOL, I meant public assistance...
    yolandasix

    Answer by yolandasix at 4:08 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I am an older mom and have been judged for it and given the dirty looks. No matter what you do in life someone is going to be there judging you for it. I think as you get older you care less. Usually the ones judging me are younger moms so I don't think "old people" corner the market on being ridiculous and mean.

    momtolucas2002

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 4:20 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • OP: We got our own place, both had (im a sahm now) wonderful jobs. Then we decided to have our daughter. Why do old people look down on us? My husband works his butt off, I actually raise my daughter rather than letting others raise her for me, and yet still, some of the older people in our own families frown upon us "kids, having kids." Why?!


    Young people can be just as judgemental as older people (you are judging me, an older working mom).  Stop worrying about what the "old people" think or say.  You do not need to prove your worth or justify your choices; just do the best you can.  There will always be generational differences of opinion.  Someday you may find you are questioning your grand-children's choices too.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on May. 4, 2010

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