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Am i being unfair?

I am in a serious relationship with a man who I have realy fallen for...I have 2 young kids ( I was married to their father who passed away about 2 years ago) ... at first I didnt plan on getting serious ( just someone to go to the movies with and stuff occasionaly) ..and I didnt want to let my kids meet him ( I dont want them to have different men in their lives)...Anyways after I few months I wanted to make it official ( he keep asking for it to be that way too) now he has been apart of me and the kids lives for awhile...

Everything is perfect except his "friend" ...I dont care about him having female friends he has alot of them, but she is the only one who causes problems ( I like the other ones) ..She is really disrespectful to me, and basically acts like I am not even there ( wont look at me, wont even say hi) ...Everyone knows she wants him ( they even dated shortly a year or so ago) ... *continued*

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on May. 4, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • but she is constantly flirting with him and even saying lies about me... ( like I refuse to add her on facebook...when actually she declind to add me, she has even told me she seen me other men) She basically spreads rumors about me.... he says I am being jealous and that she is his best friend, and I need to get along with her... ( she ahs even told him that I tried to fight her..which i have never done at all in my life) ....

    She and the way HE is acting is tearing us apart...and now I feel so horrible that I let my judgement slide and started a realtionship and planned a future with him...

    am I being unfair in thinking that in order to save our relationship he needs to chose me over her

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • ** sorry for all the typos...I have both kids on my lap lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Nope if he loves you she is ruining your relationship and disrespecting you hed easily let her go!

    Answer by NIKKIANDYBABY at 7:25 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I think that you need to choose YOURSELF over him.
    She has her evil little claws in him, or so it sounds like to me.
    Maybe if you choose yourself then he will follow suit and choose YOU.
    Explain that you will not be dragged through the type of drama his so called "friend" is trying to ensue. You and your children have been through enough and don't have to deal with that kind of nonsense. Either he grow up and get a grip on reality and be able to see what is happening right in front of his eyes or he doesnt'. That part is his choice. Your choice is to get away from that crap. Good luck...I know its a lot easier said than done. But you need to deal with that?You should always be number one to the man your with, thats my opinion.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 7:25 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I think you're fair. You're relationship has progressed as far at it can with her in the picture. If his loyalties are to her first, then he's obviously not marriage material, and not worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I agree with PP, They are obviously attached at the hip... and you don't need that around you or your children.... GL Momma, stay strong!

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 8:04 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • well, I'm a certified gal pal to many men, and I never spread lies-
    how are you so certain that she has? did she lie about you in your presence?

    anyway, she may be just ignoring you and stuff for the same reasons I didn't have much to do with any of the girlfriends. Because once you befriend the girl friend, she thinks it's your female obligation to be on her side for everything, and not his.
    happened to me every time- so I was just civil to her and that was it- no way was I going to side with a woman that I knew very well would be gone in just a few months max- my loyality was always to my guy pal-
    lots of people thought I 'wanted him' with lots of my guy pals too- I didn't. Besides, in several cases I knew that he was seeing more than one woman anyway.
    as far as the flirting goes, they already have a relationship pattern that was established before you came along-
    if you don't like the way it is then get lost.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • anon 848-
    I was told plenty of times to get lost by the wife/girlfriend. Not once did my guy pal choose them over me.
    sounds like your guy won't either.

    btw- don't bother calling her to tell her to get lost, and don't bother with the trick of sending her emails signed with his name telling her to get lost- you probably wouldn't be the first GF to try that.

    if he really wants her in his life then that's where she'll stay.

    I say that if you don't like the situation then it's a better use of your time to find someone else who doesn't have a gal pal that you don't like.

    put yourself in her shoes- why SHOULD she be so worried about your feelings? you probably aren't the first girlfriend she's had to put up with and probably won't be the last-

    but if she is lying about you- then shame on her.

    why do you care so much about her telling people that she wouldn't add you to face book anyway?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • *OP HERE*

    Anon 8:48...first off i dont care if he has friends that are girls...he has alot of them, like I said, and I really like them - I prefer men to have friends that are girls....

    I dont feel like I am just some other girl..since he has talked about marriage and adopting the kids - many times.

    I do know that she has lied about me and she HAS done it in my presence....the things about facebook was just an example of even little lies she has told..bigger ones included, that my husband ( who she didnt even know) was leaving me because he found out our kids wasnt his ...she lies about everything,and everyone knows it except my b/f. The fact that they dated for a short time and she cheated on him with several people..shows how decietful (sp) she is...

    I woudlnt call her or email her - thats dumb..the only time i have anything to do with her is when she comes around.

    also you seem very rude and *continued*

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • i am sure your attitude is the reason your friend's girlfriends dont like you not because they are worried your going to take their man...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on May. 4, 2010

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