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I just found out that my daughter was sexually abused!

Has anyone else delt with this? She is nine and it happened by a family member that does not live in the home. CPS and the Law is now involved. I need advice and support please. Thanks!

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jss2ha

Asked by jss2ha at 8:09 PM on May. 4, 2010 in Kids' Health

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Let her talk about it on her own. Get her into therapy. And make sure she knows she didn't do anything wrong. If it goes to court, that will be the hardest part. You can message me with any questions. I was sexually abused as a child. I went through it all, even a full jury trial.
    (((HUGS)))
    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 8:14 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Give her all your support. Let her know that you are there for her and back her up 100%! when I was 16 my moms bf propsitioned me to have sex with him and I told my mom and she made me move out. Just be there for her and it will do wonders.
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 8:17 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Wow I am so soryy this had to happen to her and you!I really dont have any advice except just keep on loving her and encouraging her and make sure she knows that this is not her fault!
    fryshannon34

    Answer by fryshannon34 at 11:26 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Sorry this has happened. This happened to my niece, get her in therapy and be there for her.
    tazdvl

    Answer by tazdvl at 12:34 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • Just want to mention ask CPS or the police or your Pedi for the names of therapist that this would be one of their areas of specialties.Another therapist would not harm your daughter,not saying that but she will progress better with a very experienced therapist that can read the cues,Slow down,change subject,push now all these things when read correctly will really help your daughter feel more trusting and comfortable with her therapist.Before children I had worked as a child specialist in a sex abuse clinic in a major children's hospital.Take care of you ALSO.This is very,very traumatic for parents too.Look at therapy for you or ask about a support group for family members.Our clinic had a free one or they maybe able to tell you how to access one.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 12:32 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Therapy, therapy, therapy...and lots of positive reinforcement mixed with compassion, understanding, and noncritical (to the child) discussion is going to go a looooong way.
    mainemusicmaker

    Answer by mainemusicmaker at 4:40 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • wow. the therapy is the best for her and for you, some of the sessions will be for you both, abuse is abuse, but, how tramatic was it for her. is she bothered by it, if it was fondling she will deal faster that if it was more intense stuff. My daughter was sexually abused and i didnt know it till she was almost 11, and it started when she was in kindergarden, well thats how far back she can remember and it was her own sperm donor. sorry just cant call him a dad or father. Oh, and, dont think you a bad person if you wish death or harm to the man that done this to her. i wanted him dead for all he done to my child, so those thoughts are normal, i think. Cps will more than likely want safe exam done, and, if you have a good agence they will help you in everyway they can. I am now a foster parent so i deal with this side of it too. the 16 year old ihave now was raped by 2 cousins. know how you are feeling.. sorry..
    fostymom

    Answer by fostymom at 12:10 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • Just support her and be there for her (which we all know you will as a mom). When she is ready to talk she will. Therapy will probably help. My sister and I experienced being molested by a close relative, therapy did help.
    XInMyDreamZonex

    Answer by XInMyDreamZonex at 12:38 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • Just support her and be there for her (which we all know you will as a mom). When she is ready to talk she will. Therapy will probably help. My sister and I experienced being molested by a close relative, therapy did help.
    XInMyDreamZonex

    Answer by XInMyDreamZonex at 12:38 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • my sexual abuse started when I was 5 years old and continued on until I was 12 years old. I finally told my mother when I was in high school. Till this day, I have issues with trying to connect and trust individuals in general. Like most of your posts, have your daughter go to therapy. I never went to therapy but I learned to educate myself by reading books. I educated myself. Education is key...get your daughter educated about her experience. Get her to talk about her feelings. Support her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on May. 6, 2010

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