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Cannot turn my man on! :(

Okay- basially, my boyfriend and I only have sex when HE wants to... it doesnt seem to matter what I do, if he wasnt already in the mood..I cant turn him on! Any advice or help? Thankyou!

Answer Question
 
Sherrae

Asked by Sherrae at 10:14 PM on May. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (335 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like he is used to controlling it. Only caring about his needs when he wants it. My ex used to do this and I stopped giving in everytime he wanted it. When he asked why (blew up really) I told him when he started to care more about my needs and less about his own, I would start giving in each time. It fixed it. this was not the reason we are not together anymore.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:17 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Get Dr. Kevin Lemans book "Turning up the heat"
    JenW777

    Answer by JenW777 at 10:18 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • First of all, how often do you two have sex? It might be a matter of you having a higher sex drive than he does. If you guys are still doing it at least once a week, I would say that you are pretty okay. If its only about once or twice a month, then maybe that is cause for concern. I know a married couple that hasn't had sex since Thanksgiving! It's because her husband doesn't want to have it with her. Anyway, if this is a huge problem, maybe you should talk to him about it and reevaluate the relationship.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:18 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • Have you checked for a pulse?
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 10:39 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • GMMOLLY, lol

    Start with a blow job that should turn on any man. If not then there is somthing seriously wrong with him.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:40 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • That doesn't make sense or he is just plain selfish...So if you were to make a move on him he would not respond? I don't get it weird???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • My husband has a higher sex drive then I do, so naturally he wants it all the time. However, I don't have a high sex drive, so I only want it when I'm in the mood. He can't generally turn me on if I'm not already in the mood for it. It bothers him greatly, because like I said, he wants it all the time. Have you asked him if that's the case?

    It could also be something else. Like he isn't invested in it with you anymore, but I'm thinking it's more likely he just doesn't have the sex drive that you do.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:56 PM on May. 4, 2010

  • I have this problem with my SO, it used to make me crazy. I just learned to play his game, when I am in the mood, I do small little things I know will put him in the mood. Like last night, I was getting ready to take a shower after DD went to sleep. I was naked then walked through the house getting cleaning supplies so I could clean the bathroom because it was 'driving me crazy' So I then cleaned the bathroom butt naked. 5 minutes later he was in the shower with me!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • This sucks. I know how you feel. My husband's sex drive isn't all that great, but he will at least do it when I initiate it. Does he just tell you no or what? I usually just start kissing on my hubby's neck and chest and that does the trick. But as for walking around naked, or half naked. It doesn't really seem to make a difference. I guess after 7 years it isn't anything new to him and doesn't excite him like it used to lol. Best advice I can give you is to have a serious talk with him about it and try and find out what the problem is, or buy yourself a vibe ;)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on May. 6, 2010

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