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So confused...

I'm 18, have a 7-month old son, and I'm moving in with my fiance this fall when I start college. My issue is that I would rather just go ahead and get married, if we live together for a few months thats fine, but not a few years w/o being married. He's afraid that he's not ready to be married just yet, but can't seem to figure out why... I'm not confused about what I want I'm confused about what to do and I have a hard time ignoring what everyone around me says...

And I really don't need to hear about the "living in sin" part, I already hear it from my family constantly.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I was 17 when I started dating my husband, he was 23.. I was the same way wanting to get married right away but he wasn't ready either... It takes guys a while to get use to the fact of having someone else to be responsible for and he already had a little baby know so let him take his time! If I rushed my husband into getting married I don't think we would still be together.. This winter we will be married 7 years! :) We lived together 3 years b4 we got married and know I think that was great to wait awhile and not rush into it! Living together first I think is the best way to get to know someone for who they really are, and it will take more than a couple months to figure that out! gl and don't rush

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • I'll say wait for him. Don't push him into anything he isnt ready for or he may resent you later on.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:11 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • i understand why you want to be married too, i do too - mostly i think for the actual wedding. the dress, the party, etc. - but also for other things. because i love my SO, the rings, the promise, all that stuff. but were young, im 23, hes almost 25. we are engaged, but theres really no rush to get married. if you guys havent lived together yet, i would say DEFINATLY live together before you go rushing into marriage. living together can change alot of things and lets face it, there no gaurantee your going to be with him forever. you are really young, divorce is really expensive, and so are weddings. wouldnt you rather wait until you can have the wedding of your dreams anyway?

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:11 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • how does he treat u and ur lil angel?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • I know exactly how you are feeling because I went through the same thing when I was 19. I pushed and pushed for my husband to marry me. I really wish I would have waited because I know things would have worked out a lot better between us. Because I pushed him we never really got a chance to know each other. We ended up getting married during his lunch break from work in the courthouse. I don't even have a picture of us together on our wedding day. We are still married ,but I know that our marriage would have been so much better if I wouldn't have pushed him so much. Be patient. Communicate with your SO. Things will end up working out better in the end if you take things slow. I thinks its good to live with someone first because that's when you really get to know a person. Good Luck!

    Answer by Babydoll1015 at 1:51 AM on May. 5, 2010


    Here, show him this video with the volume turned up loud.


    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:43 AM on May. 5, 2010


    Or this one..............................


    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:49 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • I personally think it is a mistake to move in with someone who isn't sure about marriage - especially when you already have a child together. There are countless women on cafemom wondering when he will propose when they are already living as husband and wife but the guy isn't wanting to get married. There is a very good chance he will never want to get married if you move in. If you don't care about marriage - then go for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Im not going to say that living together is living in sin, especialy since I lived with my husband before we were married, but if he is saying he is willing to commit enough to live together but not be married he is not really commiting to you at all. I was engaged before we moved in together, we were planning our wedding. I cant imagine "pretending" to be married while not getting that commitment from him, if he was sure he wanted to be with you he would marry you, I dont think he is worth moving in with if you ask me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I totally agree with Anon:21 and Anon:25.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:18 PM on May. 5, 2010