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High Maintenance Friend....

I have a friend we'll call T. T has a heart of cold and would drop everything if someone needed help. She is generous and kind and loves my children to bits. She helped me a lot when I was suffering from PPD and I doubt I would have made it through without her.

The problem is she can be annoying as hell. Seriously think of the most annoying person you know and multiply it by ten. She is SUPER needy, makes up health problems to get attention, shows up randomly in places she wasn't invited to (work related functions - we work for the same place just different shifts.) She is high strung and spastic sometimes and I often overhear coworkers bad mouthing or making fun of her. Sometimes I say something to them but other times what they say is the truth.

She just recently changed positions at work and now she works out of the same building as me. She wants so badly to be accepted but she's just too needy for most!

Answer Question
 
MizusT

Asked by MizusT at 3:42 AM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (306 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Anyone else have a friend like this? I have had to start clearly marking boundaries with her because I honestly don't think she realizes just how presumptuous and annoying she can be!
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 3:44 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • My MIL has a friend like this
    TattooedMommy04

    Answer by TattooedMommy04 at 3:55 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • Yes. Setting boundaries is all you can do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • yep. i made friends with her in 1st grade, because i felt bad for her. 18 years later, i'm still stuck with her! i'm the only person who has ever befriended her, so she sticks to me like glue.

    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 8:18 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • I don't know many people who ever really change. I know and understand that people can and people do, however it is not commonplace. For me it would be a friendship breaker, or maybe it would be the issue that prevented our friendship to begin with. I have a very low tolerance for personality or character flaws. So for me, if I were to meet someone who was clingy or needy, not much more than a hello or good bye would be said in conversations. goodluck with her though, maybe you can do something with her to make her a little more tolerable with the coworkers.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:38 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • wow so sad..i hate when people past jugdement on someone..maybe you can just talk to her and let her know that people are saying.. good luck sweetie.
    KimmyPoo

    Answer by KimmyPoo at 9:01 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • wow so sad..i hate when people past jugdement on someone..maybe you can just talk to her and let her know that people are saying.. good luck sweetie
    ---------------------
    I'm giving an accurate description of her. How is that passing judgement?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • It sounds like she is a very lonely person, and just needs to be loved. Really, I feel bad for her, it sounds like she is a great person though, so I would definitly try and continue being friends with her. Its not often you can find someone so willing to be there for you. I think you need to stand up for her. She may have her quarks, but she is your friend, even if what people are saying is true, its not kind to say it at all. Dont get sucked in by what other people say and what other people think. I would just set some boundries on your life in the areas that you really need the space.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • If she's been a great friend up till not, it's time to repay her and have a heart to heart with her. Maybe she doesn't realize these are her negatives -maybe she needs help fixing them... Good luck!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Ya you gals are right. Thanks for responding!
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 2:32 PM on May. 5, 2010

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