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Does anyone have any advice on getting a routine together?

I don't want to sound like a big baby, I know people in my shoes do it all the time. I have a son that is 16 & a daughter that is 7 1/2 months. I work full time. My husband is an RN & works 7 on 7 off...nights. During his 7 nights on, it's all me at night. He's able to help me w/the baby while I try to get ready for work, when he comes in from work. Then off to bed for him to sleep until he has to get ready for work again. During his 7 days off, during the day he has to do a multitude of chores outside. He's wonderful in helping me as much as possible in the evenings when I get home. Including cooking, cleaning, caring for Claire, etc. I have gained so much weight and have no time to work out. I'm late to work and/or have to leave work all the time because I'm the one that has to get my daughter to the sitter, doctor's office, do whatever needs to be done for my son, etc. Trying to find me time is next to impossible.

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bskelly

Asked by bskelly at 11:47 AM on May. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I build my schedules around the clock.

    6-7 - get up, workout, get dressed etc...

    7-8 - kids up, lunches

    8-9 - kids to school


    etc....same with chores. set a time for something thatway its not just the general ... "sometime today I have to..."

    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 11:50 AM on May. 5, 2010

  • maybe set all your clocks 15 min ahead and try to forget they are ahead.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:24 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I feel your pain--my husband works nights Tuesday through Saturdays and then sleeps Sundays so I pretty much only get him on Monday nights :) I only have one child who is 22 months old, so I'm not an expert on raising teenagers, but it would seem to me your 16 year old could be helping out more too, especially on the weeks when your husband is working. Couldn't he be helping with the baby so that you have time to concentrate on getting ready for the next day, doing chores, etc? I like the PP's idea of building your routine by the clock--get up 20 minutes earlier and do a workout DVD or something like that--it's not much "me time" but every little bit helps :) Good luck!!
    bethany169

    Answer by bethany169 at 1:44 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Thanks for the advice. I spoke to my hubby earlier and told him that the first day of his next 7 days off, I wanted to have a family meeting to get some structure going again. I'm a pretty structured person, but man since I've had Claire, structure has flown out the window.
    Setting the clocks back by about 15 minutes would be very helpful(I think). I'm going to try that route. I'm sure it will take a little bit because I'll know at first that I have an extra 15 minutes, but I think if I can train myself to work by the clock at home and mentally put it behind me that the clock it wrong, it could really work in my favor.
    AJ does help when I ask him to. I guess I just feel guilty asking him to help with the baby too much. He didn't ask for us to have her, so I feel bad asking him. Is that wrong?
    Yes, every little bit of me time is helpful, regardless of how little or how much there is.
    bskelly

    Answer by bskelly at 1:58 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • For me what helps me really get a grasp on my week/day....is a calendar. I write it all down when this or that is going on. You may not need to maintain one once you get it going, but it helps me really understand my day and get more done.

    I say do that, and see where you have time to workout. You have a VERY tough job on your hands. It sounds like you are doing good to keep your head on your shoulders. ha ha! Good luck!
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 2:21 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • oh girl i know how you feel, ok heres what i have been trying, In my house its only me and my husband and our 7 month old, we both work monday through friday, i try and limit myself like say if i have chores to do then maybe one day i will do the laundry and another day it will be the bathrooms, that way its spaced out and you have a little time everyday, also you should definitely have the 16 year old help, it doesn matter if they asked for the baby you guys are a family and in order to keep you sane and to keep things rolling smoothly everyone has to sacrifice a little. good luck
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 5:12 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Going today to get a day planner. Good point aly38914290. You know, xxSummaxx13, sometimes the obvious, right??? I mean why not have set days for everything and stick to it. I pretty much do laundry when everyone is out of underwear. LOL! Not literally of course. I need to have a chore chart. As far as AJ, I suppose you're right. He has been a great big brother and has never expressed any kind of jealousy or aggrevation for having a new sister. I guess since he was my only child for 16 years before she was born, I feel alittle guilty. I guess I'm putting more stress on myself. Thanks again everyone.
    bskelly

    Answer by bskelly at 5:48 PM on May. 5, 2010

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