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Am I wrong for feeling this way, I know it might sound like I'm being greedy, but I think I'm more hurt than anything.

For my birthday my mother in law got me a few gifts and $100. My sister inlaws birthday was in January and she got $1000, which my mother inlaw told everyone how much she was giving her. My mother inlaw is alwasy upset with my sister inlaw because she never calls her, so she told my sister inlaw that if she comes to her house for brunch she will give her an additional $1000 and she did, which I find disgusting. My mother inlaw is also paying over $30,000 for her to go back to college. My sister inlaw is 48 years old. Her husband has a good job and they don't need the money that bad. My husband and I are struggling financially right now and my husband wanted to ask his mom for a loan, I begged him not to because I don't want her to know. I also feel that she will think that we owe her if she gives us money. We are very good to her and she is at our house frequently. I just feel kind of hurt by this.

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prettybaby1

Asked by prettybaby1 at 12:51 PM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (181 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Ugh..Why is money so important? Maybe they are having financial problems that you don't know about. Put your big girl underwear on and deal with it. Pay your own shit.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 1:07 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Why would you want hand outs like she gets? Be proud that even though you may struggle, you don't need your parents help. You are an adult and you act like one unlike your SIL. And it sounds like you MIL uses money and gifts to buy her love and attention, do you really want a relationship like that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I think it's probably because that is her daughter, you know? It seems way over the top to give her so much money on top of paying for her to go back to school, especially at her age, but again she is your MIL's daughter and she has probably always gone overboard giving her things. I agree with you about not asking your MIL for a loan too. I think you're probably right about her holding it over your head. You'll feel a lot better about yourselves if you can make it out of a financial bind on your own. See if there is anything you can cut back on. Rework your budget. It's hard I know but give it a shot before you ask her for help.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:09 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Ugh..Why is money so important? Maybe they are having financial problems that you don't know about. Put your big girl underwear on and deal with it. Pay your own shit.

    It's very important when you don't have it and need it.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:10 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I agree with SaraP, pay for your own bills and deal with your struggles. Why would you want to sink to your SIL's level and accept money like that?
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:10 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • anon 08,,,,,,,,,,,,I think you are exactly right, I would rather struggle than take handouts and be manipulated like that . which is exactly what my mother inlaw does.
    prettybaby1

    Answer by prettybaby1 at 1:13 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • wildflower,,,,,,,,,,that is not her daughter, it's her sons wife
    prettybaby1

    Answer by prettybaby1 at 1:13 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • You may not see it yet, but your MIL might have bad motives for giving her money like that. Maybe your MIL is expecting something in return and you just cant see it yet. That is a bad thing to be hanging above your SIL's head. Be glad that you are independent and not taking your MIL's money. Maybe you can see this as a positive thing. Maybe your MIL sees that you are strong and she isnt messing with you....lol Oh boy those MIL's!!!
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 1:32 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • i agree with saraP I hate accepeting money from famliy members because they feel like that gives them the right to be in your business and spread rumors about you. Let you sil act like a child that can't do anything good for herself and be a better person and pay your own bills. as long as there is a roof over your head and food on your table you should be fine
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 1:35 PM on May. 5, 2010

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