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How would you feel....



...if your husband told you that if he were to die first that his best friend from childhood has been given instructions on how your dh wants this to be handle. And you the wife have "nothing" to do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I can see why you are upset, but I can also see what he might be trying to do. He is probably thinking of how grief stricken you will be, and trying to ease some of your burden. But I also see how I would want to make those arrangements myself, as his wife. So...why not, instead of approaching this as "I'm so upset and hurt", approach it as "He's thinking of me, and his intentions are good, this idea just doesn't work for me". Then, sit down with him and explain to him that you understand his intentions, but that you would prefer it be handled differently, and explain your thoughts.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:36 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Maybe he is thinking of you. Maybe he thinks you will be so stricken with grief and he wouldn't want to add another burden on you.
    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 1:56 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Maybe he is thinking of you. Maybe he thinks you will be so stricken with grief and he wouldn't want to add another burden on you.

    I see! Then Why Am I Feeling so mad???? OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • b/c as his wife, you know whats needed in the family- the bills to pay, what the kids need, etc. is the friend in charge of the money if he dies? i could see him maybe doing the funeral arrangements, although i'd want to do that for my future DH, but if EVERYTHING is included in that... i dont think thats right.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 2:05 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • funeral instructions? who cares. Distribution of property. Hold on there you have some rights. Sounds like you are married to a control freak. Unless he has prepaid for these arraignments, the person writing the check gets to make the decisions. Just nod and smile and if it happens do what you want.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I would be upset too! but at the same time maybe he is thinking about you
    Naralie

    Answer by Naralie at 2:17 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Now why would he tell you something like that and not notice that it bothered you???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • i would ask him - why dont you want ME to do it - you married me! do yo like your friend more than me? dont you trust me> WTF!!! i would feel hurt that he chose someone other than me to do something so important!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:32 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Thank you posters for all the thoughts.

    I did ask why? and he said because his friend knows him better than any other person. I'd understand if he'd chosen my MIL. But his friend. I don't know. OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on May. 5, 2010

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