Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is being adopted really that bad?

In one of the previous abortion threads, there were a couple of posts from people who had been adopted saying that they wished their mothers had aborted them instead of giving them up for adoption. I'm pretty shocked by that sentiment. Obviously there are many difficult emotional issues with being adopted, but assuming the adoptive parents are loving, I can't imagine someone feeling that being adopted is so terrible that it would be better to never be born.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 PM on May. 5, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Answers (16)
  • I feel that way. Parenting is hard whether you're a birth mother or an adoptive mother. Almost every mother has no idea what they're getting into and these adoptive parents often don't account for all the problems they will have. I have a friend that was adopted by a very rich family that loved her but she wishes she was never born. The hereditary tendencies that she has are taring her life apart. I'm all for abortion if you can't or won't take care of your children. There are so many children in the world that will never be adopted there's no reason to bring another one into the world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I love my adopted son to pieces. ...and this is going to sound horrible and you can think what you want, ...but his biomother should have had an abortion.
    She used meth through out her pregnancy, and then tried to commit suicide when he was 2 months old. He then got foster care from my mom, who had a pharmaceutical drug addiction. My mom later neglected and mildly abused him. She later died.

    He is lucky that i have a wonderful giving, supportive and loving husband or else i would probably not be in the position to adopt him myself. I love him so much and am happy to finally provide for him the life and family he deserved from the start. But because of his early life experiences he will likely have emotional disturbance for the rest of his life.

    sometimes QUALITY of life is more important than just living.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:18 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • i agree completley with both of those first two posts.
    i know many people who were adopted, and NONE of them are happy or even fine with it.
    its proven that you long for your biological parents, especially your mother - when you are adopted.
    i try to imagine how i would feel if i one day found out my real parents were my actual parents, and alls i feel is heartache.
    thats why i really dislike adoption. i also dont believe your murdering a baby by having an abortion so im for having an abortion over adoption. i would rather have been aborted, then adopted.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:22 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I'm adopted, but I have the best mom in the world. (My parents adopted me but divorced six years later.) I always knew I was wanted (along with my sister who was adopted as well) and we came first with her. I'm forever grateful to my bio mom, but I believe my mother and sister are soul mates who took a round about way of finding each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I know SEVERAL people who have been adopted and they are all extrememly close with their parents and live really happy lives. I've never heard one of them say they wish they just would have been aborted.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:29 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I wasn't trying to say that adoption is bad. I just think that there are some people who should have abortions if they find themselves pregnant.
    But for many adoption is a good choice.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:30 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Those who are adopted and say they wish they'd never been born, more than likely have issue's that go a lot deeper than just the fact they were adopted. People who are raised by their bio parents commit suicide. One cannot really say that the facts of their birth are the root cause of their feelings. Yes, many adopted adults do search for their bio families...but it's more to do with a desire to learn their heritage than anything else. They're not looking for parents, they have those. Adopted children may not always have the best parents in the world but then kid's raised by their bio parents don't always have the best either. People are people and whether or not one is adopted, it really comes down to the people themselves and how they deal with everyday life and the unexpected things that occur to each and every one of us.
    meriana

    Answer by meriana at 11:46 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Gee, all the adopted people I've met are pretty happy with their lives and the adopted family. Many have said they have no interest in finding their birth families.

    And I've know people who grew up in their bio families who said things like "I wish I was never born" and later committed suicide.

    Seems to me people who wish they were never born have more issues than just adoption.

    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 11:55 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Wow. I've never met an adoptee who was UNHAPPY about it. And I am an adoptee myself.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:08 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • "its proven that you long for your biological parents, especially your mother - when you are adopted."

    Proven where, PURPUL? I've never seen such a study and would be curious to.

    I honestly NEVER longed for my birth mother. I'm completely indifferent. If she showed up on my doorstep I wouldn't turn her away, but I wouldn't be falling over her. My mother was the woman who raised me.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:11 AM on May. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN