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Would you call the cops if your 14 year old daughter was in love with a 19 year old boy and she told you that they were having protected sex?

my daughter and this guy met when she was 13, and he was 17. they were "friends" who appeared to want to be more, despite the big gape they really seem/seemed to like eachother. they were involved with eachother for over 18 months until 4 months ago they decided to be official "boyfriend and girlfriend" he just turned 19, and she is turning 15 later this year. they claim to be, and act, like they are in love. she was honest with me from the start, yet i told her to NOT have sex or i WOULD press charges against him. she came to me and told me they had sex. i feel heartless calling the police, it would break both their hearts and my daughter would hate me forever. what do i do?

 
foreverbabe09

Asked by foreverbabe09 at 11:21 PM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (36)
  • I can't fucking believe people think you should call the police. This will RUIN his life! She admits the sex is consenual, try to keep her from seeing him, because yes that is aHUGE age gap, but he is not deserving of being labeled a freaking sex offender and going to jail! They have known each other for a couple years you say, so its not like he swooped in and took advantage of your unsuspecting daughter! This is why I HATE statutory rape laws. Yes she is young, but she is not stupid I would assume, she told you that she is WILLINGLY having sex with this guy! Don't ruin his life over it!!!!!!
    SweetPea05

    Answer by SweetPea05 at 1:50 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • i definatly would not call the police. you could ruin this guys life forever, he will be a sex offender forever. thats not right.
    i know your daughter is young, but i lost my virginity at 13 and i wasnt a slut, i didnt end up pregnant at 16, i dont have an STD. sex is a natural thing that people are born wanting to have eventually you know? at least shes being honest with you, and trusts you - you dont want to break that trust. but make sure it is protected!
    you never know ... maybe they are soul mates and are going to one day get married. or maybe there not, and this is a life experience she needs to live as part of growing up.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:25 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • if you feel he is respectful and can and will take responsibility for his actions if the need arises then just continue to provide protection for her. I would also make sure to have him as involved in the family as possible so that you can keep an eye on him and what not. ...if they are in love, age i just a number.

    However, if you are uncertain about his ability to be a man if the protection fails ...then (IMO) you should press charges.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:25 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Too bad for her! If my 15 year old daughter was having sex with a 19 year old I would press charges. You warned them and now follow through.
    I don't know why you would let her get this far with him. She isn't even 15 yet.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:25 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Also if it is real love... he would wait for her to be of legal age to consent.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:26 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • After recovering from the heart attack I'd be payin the boyfriend a little visit. That's not right.
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 11:27 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • You told her already that you would. Stick to what you said mama.

    She's too young to make decisions about love and sex. She may hate you, but in situations like this it's not your job to be her friend. It's your job to be the parent and protect her.

    I dated a 19-year-old when I was 15, and I thought I was so in love. We never even had sex, but he did put a lot of pressure on me to have sex that I was too young to face....When I look back at that time now (as an adult), I wonder how could my parents even let me date such an older guy? In hindsight, I wish they had been more protective of me and made me hate them for a little while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Don't call the cops. You will ruin his life and break your daughter's heart. I'm sorry, but if you press charges, things will just turn out horribly. He will have to register as a sex offender (pedophile), will not be allowed to be around schools, have to report to PO, and all that. If he goes to someone's house and they have children, he will be arrested and put in jail for up to 20 years. Why? All because he fell in love with a girl and pursued a relationship with her. I would think long and hard before you do something like that. He is NOT predator and shouldn't have to live his life being treated like one just because they had sex.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:31 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I wuild be pissed. But then again , I would not have my 14-15 year old daughte rhaving alone time with a 19 year old. You have to take some responsibility in this too, but definitely come up with something else, cause what you are doing, obviously isnt working. But like was already said, might be to late to press charges, if he is a decent guy he will be a sex offender, and it will ruin his liife.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Do something besides ruin his life
    ryanlynn

    Answer by ryanlynn at 11:33 PM on May. 5, 2010

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