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Has anyone ever been in LOVE with their baby daddy but knew it was never going to happen

Me and my BD only dated for a few weeks, and I got pregnant on a one night thing months later....he was never very good to me, only using me, but we were "friends" and I was stupid at that time so I was always that girl that was there.So when I got pregnant I was upset for all the usual reasons in a surprise pregnancy but most of all bc I knew I was in for a long life of hurt having to be connected to a man whose heart I would never have..
Flash forward two years...BD was not around for pregnancy, and very randomly after our daughter was born...He ended up in a serious relationship shortly after which was not healthy and he was cheating on his live in girlfriend. It was not the situation I wanted my daughter around and he never fought me on it...He would request I give him our baby daughter but I never did and he didnt seem to care anyways. It was mostly for show and I hated that.
Will continue...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on May. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • So now things have definately changed. I decided it was time to grow up and not hold on to all the anger I had, bc It was my fault too that we had a baby out of wedlock and when we were not even in love. I never wanted to trap him so him having a gf was expected. I never thought he would want to be with me, and i accepted that, but theres always HOPE, i guess, when u really have feelings...which I did. So go back a couple months ago and BD broke up with the gf and started to make an effort. He isnt perfect,but spent time with both of us on a more regular basis. Was still living the party life though so I never took anything he said seriously, but just waited for the actions to prove. Now more recently we have become friends again, and truly can respect eachother....and this is now when he has started to show more interest as if it was years ago when we were talking...
    Continues...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • But nothing has changed. It is still the same thing..just a SEX thing. He will send sex messages or even by coincidences if I am out with a few friends on a rare occasion he will be there and he will basically hit on me the entire time and not let any of his friends hit on me. He tried three times to get me to come home with him...and this is AFTER two years of us having a child together and me finally getting past all of the hurt I feel from the rejection I have experienced. But now I feel still drawn to him...i find myself reverting back to old ways, waiting for his calls, and analyzing everything, bc he will go from being very business like with me, to sending me flirty messages or even sexual....but then if hes not drinking and he comes by he doenst try anything or speak to me this way, but if its in a different setting or drinking or hes just texting he wants to play games?
    Continued...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • Sorry this is so long but in summary, I KNOW what the end result of anything is with him. He will go and be with some hidious girl and I will wonder what is wrong with me. I know it has alot to do with how he has viewed me from the past probably, bc I was the weak girl that would jump in bed with him, so I never respond to his sexual advances these days. But i want to be DONE with him, and I cannot. What hurts most is that I hate the thought of him taking our daughter by himself and maybe even with a new girlfriend or his friends, not bc I want them to not have a relationship but bc I want it to be us. And I know that will never happen. Its a constant struggle and i hate myself for it.
    Any words of advice bc life cannot be lived this way and I am so sick of feeling this and not opening myself up to other experiences in life bc I am so tied to one person who cuts me off at every opportunity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • I feel you this is so me.. sorry have no advice just wanna tell ya that you arent alone
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on May. 5, 2010

  • sorry for your situation... I dont realy have any advice but I can maybe give you a little hope with my friends situation...?

    She also got pregnant by him after knowing him shortly ( like 3 weeks into it) ...at first she felt badly because she knew he wouldnt be there and she would be alone rasing this baby.... at first he was in and out of their lives... until she finally broke down one day and basically told him that he needs to be activly in their lives or be completely out.... well I dont know if that set him straight....but he did straighten up.... and they have been together (fully) for about 3 years...and just had their second son and are planning on getting married ( my friend keeps pushing the date back because of the ceremony plans) ...and honestly he treats her and the boys AMAZINGLY ...and you can tell how much he loves them...before I wanted to kill him becasue he treated them that badly but now its happy
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:00 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • No I have never had a "baby daddy". I have a husband who is the father of my children. I hate that stupid term.
    MizusT

    Answer by MizusT at 3:47 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • Apparently it did happen. At least once.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • Great sex does not equal a great relationship. If you take away the physical, what type of relationship do you have with this man?

    It sounds to me like you both have a lot of growing up to do. Please get tested for STDs regularly, make sure that you have discussed how to handle the next unplanned pregnancy, and make plans for your future (how will you send your child to college, how will you save for retirement, etc.)
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:23 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • I think you already know the answer to this situation and should act accordingly.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:54 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • None of the other anons were me, This is the original poster, and thanks for the horrible advice ppl. Don't bother giving ppl advice if you seriously have something stuck up your you know what :) I do not think having feelings for a man means I need to grow up. I have acted responsibly since finding out i was pregnant and I did say in my post that I do NOT act on anything he says nor do I even participate in that type of conversation with him, it is what he does. Other than a physical relationship, we have a friendly one and he tells ppl he cares about me...has fun with me all of that kind of stuff. Something is there but HE is the one that needs to grow up. I just have a hard time knowing how to detach myself from a situation that I am stuck to. Forever .I do not have STD's Thank you :) and I have not had sex SINCE I become pregnant. So please stop JUDGING.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on May. 6, 2010

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