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How do you deal with a bi-polar ex?

So, my ex and I are currently living together.I broke up with him last april because I was sick of how mean he was.I never questioned that he loved me but, his untreated illness got in the way of our relationship.I have never stopped loving him and when he came to me last August saying he was in a 'bad situation' and need a place to go, I gave him one.Since then he's been my best friend and my worst enemy.I have grown up in and around the medical field. I know that he is a sick person and I feel I have tried everything I can to help him.I've spent thousands fixing things he has broken in the house. He's kicked doors in half, choked me, spit in my face, and put his hands on me numerous other times, including throwing me to the floor. He's belittled me and called me fat, a bitch, cocksucker, whore, etc.I understand he's sick and i've tried to help him but when do you say enough? Do you just give up on someone you KNOW is sick?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on May. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • well my aunt is bio-polar she has hurt herself but never anyone else.. maybe he is skitsoprinic ?
    its hard either way.. he meds were not working maybe they should give him something different.. well I think you did what was best for you & thats ok you two weren't married... maybe you can refer him to someone how can help him.. but I think its ok to also think of your safety & emotional well being..

    Answer by maiahlynn at 12:24 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • My ex is bi-polar and I didn't care if he was sick or not. He hurt me and it was a unsafe situation for my kids and so I got a restraining order on him. When I did see him again (one two other times since the restraining order got lifted) he was not allowed near my kids. He doesn't care enough about you to get help so why put yourself in that situation? It is time to call it quits now before he really hurts you or your kid(s).

    Answer by alaskansglmom at 12:24 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • I definately say get out of that situation! It is not your fault that he will not get help, it is definately time to say enough. How much longer until he hurts you seriously? Or kills you? Sick or not... it is a serious thing. Until he gets help, I would stay away from him. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • For your children's sake you should not be livig with him and I hope you can realize this.

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:43 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • you just described my fiance to a T. seriously, like word for word what mine has done to me if i were to describe it.. that's crazy. and I am in the same boat you are except i never thought of him as having an illness before. maybe he does. it would be nice to believe that he can change. because i don't want him to end up alone and unhappy and without love and his kids. i just really don't see anyone else putting up with his shit. i think i only do because i love him, have 2 amazing kids with him, and i just wish he would change so we can have a wonderful family and life together. i don't want anyone but him and i don't want a broken family either. i want to help him, i just don't know how. sorry i am of no help but i do understand. i do hope things go well with you in whatever happens. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • i'd like to add that I actually don't have children. I got on here because my friend is a mom and she asked me to join. I ended up loving the site and all of the great advice I was receiving from the moms on here. After all, moms are the smartest people on the planet! =)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • WHAT~!? You give up on them when they cross your boundaries, you should NEVER allow physical or emotional abuse in your world...I repeat NEVER...there is a line between being an understanding, compassionate person and being a doormat, you have allowed his sickness to take root in your psyche and it's infected you & made you too unhealthy too see clearly...get out NOW! Save yourself! You CAN'T save him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • Well, yeah. Sometimes you do because you can't do any more and it's time to do for yourself.

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 3:39 AM on May. 6, 2010

  • When you aren't really helping him and you are actually hurting yourself. You are suffering psychologically and also putting yourself at risk physically. I think NOW would be a good time to stop. Things aren't getting any better for him, and they are getting worse for you.

    Answer by BJoan at 8:05 AM on May. 6, 2010

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