Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I don't know what to do.

ok so for the past yr dh and i have been living with my in laws so that we could pay off our debt and get our fiances under control. and we have talked about buying a house together. in this time they haven't asked for any money and even on months that i knew they were short and asked them how much money they needed they wouldn't take it, we however do fill the house with food rutenly. recently my fil lost his job, purely his fault, and i have been more aggressive about sticking my nose into their fiances. What i have found makes me very nervous. They have filed for bankruptcy a fears ago, and when they are short on bills for a month rather than pay every penny they can out to bills they regularly let a few go unpaid and spend money they don't have. i have suggested ways to fix it but they resist. I don't know what to do they have helped us a lot, but i can't put my financial future in their hands i don't trust them.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on May. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Both of you need to get good jobs, and just rent until you buy a house :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • It sounds like you and your husband aren't on the same page but as far as the in laws go why would their finances be any of your business? I mean, you said your being "more aggressive" about it. That has nothing to do with you. Worry about your own bills since you needed help and got yourself into debt.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 7:00 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • oh ya thats good i'll just go out an miraculously get that wonderful job i've been looking for for a year it will just appear now. and i do look for a better job at least once a week if not more. i know the economy is supposed to have pickeup but there is no sign of it around here.

    and its my business because my MIL asked me to try and help and if hubby and i want to get a house with them how they manage their fiances is my business. if i tie my hubby and i with them credit wise, i need to be able to trust that bills will come first not frivolous spending.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • I see two suggestions. 1) pay the bills that you know they are not paying or 2) get your finances in order and get your own place.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:08 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • Unbelievable. You've been living on their dime, ever think that possibly, their generosity and not accepting financial help is the reason they're in the position they are? You and your husband dug yourselves a financial hole and your inlaws have helped you greatly. You're in no position to judge.


    Answer by pdxmilf at 7:11 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • i realise what my options are. i think i am more scared of the emotional fall out then anything else. and though i am increadibly gratful that they have helped, we are almost out of debt with everything except student loans, those take for ever. if they had let us know what was going on we could have helped at the time but now there is so much and there is only so much i can contribute from our budget with out putting us into the hole again. (and we got in the hole because i let my hubby deal with finaces for a year and a half while i figured out how to deal with depression. and since i took control we are almost there.) i have been giving them some money to try and help but its not enough we get food with our money, pay bills and that is it. there isn't any more, and i feel as though taking the help and running is selfish but over extending is a pattern with them and not one they are willing to break. ugg i hate money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • Um...ok....And this is your business why?

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 10:40 PM on May. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.