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Sleeping arrangements at the home of non-custodial parent

My husband has a daugher who is 11 years old. He is the non-custodial parent of her, and we have her every other weekend. Husband and I have two sons (3 AND 1)and live in a 3 bedroom house. We disagree on how the sleeping arrangements should be. He thinks she has to have her own room while our boys share a room. I disagree since she is only with us every other weekend. I think she should be able to sleep in our 3 year olds room and he can sleep in his brothers room on the weekends she is here. I just think it is unfair to our boys to have to share a bedroom while there is a room sitting empty 90% of the time. I would love to hear any feedback to this issue. Also, we are in Indiana, does anyone know if we are required to have a bedroom for her by law. I tried to look into this and couldn't find any info. Thanks for your input.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on May. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I agree with you.  No sense in letting a perfectly good room go empty between her visits plus your boys just might like bunking together for those weekends :)


    Answer by Kathy7_20 at 9:05 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • I dont believe you are required to have a room just for her. I would make sure she has her own dresser and things that are just hers so she feels like part of the family and shes just not visiting every other weekend. You dont want to make her feel like she doesnt belong.

    Answer by summerbudbud at 9:06 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • I think she certainly needs her own space.

    Answer by Jessica157 at 9:24 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • I like your idea better. When she comes over she can have a room to herself but the other 13 days it can still be put to use. Does she have personal belongings that stay at your house?

    Answer by janel09 at 9:32 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • Why can't your boys share and give her a room? There are only two boys, and I dont' understand why they have their own rooms?
    Then when she's not there you can have it as an office or something. That way, the room won't get "wasted" and it will still have a bed and her dresser and stuff in it and the boys don't get into it when she's not there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • It's sounds like you don't care about how your stepdaughter will be treated or how she will feel. she is 11, she needs to be comfortable and have her own space. Just because it's only the weekend, it will still be her house too. *yes, I have 2 step children that spend the weekends and it is their house too. They will feel welcome in my home and you should make your stepdaughter feel welcome. Little boys dont' need their own rooms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • She needs her own room. Even if she is only there 1 time a month, making her use one of the boys' room makes it seem as if she's a guest rather than part of the family.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:04 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • She should have her own room! For crying out loud, have the boys share - they are little!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • I agree with you!!!!

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 11:11 PM on May. 6, 2010

  • No way. You do not punish YOUR children who live with you 100% of the time in order to accommodate a child who doesn't. I like your suggestion because she'll certainly have her own space while she's there without taking anything away from your kids.

    Answer by Avarah at 1:25 AM on May. 7, 2010

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