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It seems I never get credit for anything, I'm a nobody :(

I became a mom at 16, and I have gave up everything, literally. School, friends, hobbies. I feel like crap all of the time, but I stay strong for my son, and my fiance. Im getting married in June. Out of all the girls from school who had their babies, I am the only one who really gave up everything. Because they have half decent parents to watch their kids, and they still have friends, and get to go out. I wish I could just have one single day off. It just bugs me, some days Im not sure I can do it anymore. Its too hard. Half the tiem I feel liek a single parent. Cause my fiance works from 6am-4pm. After he gets home he goes to bed. Gets up to eat, and then once I get our son to sleep, hes back in bed again. We never really talk. Having my son really changed everything, and I look at people my age, and realize Im not going anywhere with my life, I dont know what to do anymore.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on May. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • I am a SAHM right now. Two years ago I was in college and all my friends from college graduate today. I felt sad for a split second that I'm not there with them, but then I looked at my DD and laughed... they don't have kids.. they don't know the joys of being a parent, and I know that it's them missing out and not me. If you feel like you're missing out on something, try to find a play group for your child (that really helped me). You are what I like to call a good mom! When you make sacrifices for your children and the only person to see that is yourself, you get down, but trust me, one day that child will see the sacrifices you made (it will be after the teenage stage).
    Oh, and about your fiance, I suggest you two go out on one of his days off.. go to the zoo (most places it's free), and just hang out together with your son. I noticed that when we're out of the house, DH and I tend to ignore each other less and have fun.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • PP I like it.I became a mom at 18 and I know what ur going though.I work 2 jobs and luckily get sunday off.My son is 2 and in this stage right now that is very stressfuf and sometimes I dont know what to do.But I know there is nothing else in the world I am better at than loving my son and being his mother.I'm proud of what I have accomplished...I graduated (GED) right before I found out I was pregnant I have held down my 2 jobs for 1 year and a half now and I am raising an amazing child...My what us supermoms do!!!Keep Your head up girl and remember that you can do anything you put your mind 2.Oh and my parents did very little just clthes and toys passed down from my 4 year old brother...I know crazy right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Hang in there! And don't feel obligated to marry this guy. He doesn't sound like he deserves you!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 3:43 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Because they have half decent parents to watch their kids,

    sweetie, I know it's hard, but that comment isn't right. It is not up to your parents to watch the kids so you can feel like a teenager. You made the choice to keep the baby and part of that choice is being the full time 24/7 Mommy. Those girls whose Moms look after the babies, they will find out one day, when everyone is sick of watching their kids, and you need to know that mostly their" half decent parents" are bitching and moaning about how they are having to raise their grandkid
    You and your fiancee have some tricky times ahead. try to get out of the house together ( even just for a walk in the park) and then confirm to yourself the reasons you chose to have and keep this baby. It isn't up to your parents to make it easy for you, you ARE the parent now.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 8:53 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Hey i want you to stop that self pity right now. you are still very young and you only have one baby right? I don't see the problem, instead of wallowing in selfpity do something. I think you should go get your Ged and go to college. and once you are in college just keep strong and get your degree. it doesn't matter that you had a kid young. That isn't holding you back ,you are. use subsidized day care while you go to school. you can do it just don't get yourself down. and when you get in college do college things like join a sorotitiy or a club. do student council or find mothers like yourself to hang out with. believe you will feel alot better.
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 9:04 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • It's not your parents' responsibility to watch your baby. You had him, you take care of him. Just because you're young doesn't mean you "deserve" to go out. You gave up that right the minute you decided to have unprotected sex. Stop whining and grow up. Be glad that your "fiance" has a job that he can provide for you and your baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • your partner is working his ass off to try to pay his way. It's not your parents problem or responsibility to look after your kid. Yes you gave up everything, big whoop, that's what being a parent is about, that's the choice you made when you decided to keep this boy. Stop whining and take some responsibility. If you get no credit maybe you aren't earning it. What credit do you want? For having a baby at a ridiculously young age? For expecting your parents to look after it?For whining about your partner being tired because he's working to support you? . Stop the pity party and realize that you are very lucky to have been allowed to keep the baby, 30 years ago, that little boy would have been taken and placed in adoption and you would be shamed in society, if it is so unbearable allow him to be adopted by a family who will love and adore him, not resent him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • This is what all teens need to read before they think about having sex! If you knew then what you know now, huh? Babies are cute, but they are WORK! But ya know what? Sounds to me as if you are doing a great job of it so far and your son will thank you for it someday--it will be many MANY years from now though, so don't get in a big hurry for that either.

    As for your honey, just because he works a full time job doesn't mean he works any harder than you do. I say he takes care of your son while you go out and do something for yourself. Even if it is just giving you a chance to go to the grocery store without kid in tow, it would be a great help. Remember, he was there when the pregnancy started--it's just as much HIS responsibility as it is yours. Don't let him pawn it all off on you. If nothing else, he'll appreciate how hard it is for you after an afternoon of being all on his own with a baby.

    Good luck!
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 9:52 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • i was the same way and am just now getting the hang of things and back on track. my marriage was the same too. im 25 now and am not heading anywere at the moment but i know its not to late. my huspand went back to scholl when he was almost 30. just think ur child is only a baby once and his 1st years are the most important for him.im a stay at home mom and hate it. i have no friends just in laws.and honsetly if i wen tout for a night to myself i would be thinking about my lil one the whole time.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 8:14 PM on May. 7, 2010

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