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What could u have done over this?

Last night my dd did not want to study my dh told her to go she gets up and stomps to her room saying I DON'T WANT TO STUDY...(this has been going on before) My dh says oh he'll no she is not going to have this attitude I'll take care of it...:(. I see him get the belt and go to her room and gives her a good spanking :(. I could not do anything bc he tells me I don't do nothing and that is why they walk all over me (he's right)....Anyway someti e goes by I go and check on her and she is still crying she had this knot on the front of her head in the scalp area I was pissed I wanted to kill aarrgg!!! I just held her and told her u know ur dad does not put up with this sort of behavior but I don't c her changing anytime soon.
I did not want 2 say anything to my dh bc it would have eneded up in an argument (I was not in the mood) His mom would treat him like this if he did not listen.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 AM on May. 7, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (38)
  • I bet she does her school work and doesn't act like a fool again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I would prepare for a call from the school if she's got a knot on her head. And a visit from CPS. What he did was WRONG and will steer her down the absolute WRONG path.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:54 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • You just sat there while your daughter was beaten..
    Your husband beats your child with a belt and you won't interfere because you want to avoid an argument??
    Better her beaten than you I guess?
    Shame on you..

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 8:55 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I wouldn't put up with an abusive husband, although your daughter was rebelling his actions do not warrant this abuse. What he is doing is creating fear not discipline.

    Answer by older at 8:56 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • The punishment should fit the crime. Yes, she should be punished for back talking. No, I do not put up with it from my kids. And yes, we spanked our kids (they're teens now, so...) HOWEVER - NO - he should NOT have beaten her with a belt, especially leaving a knot on her - and SERIOUSLY - he's hitting her in the HEAD because she won't study?!?

    So, what, when she ends up with brain damage from him hitting her, but hey, she does her homework, right? Even if she's at the mental point where all her "homework" consists of is scribbling on a page with crayons and drooling on herself...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:03 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • although i do believe in spanking..i think your daughter may be a little too old. Also, i do not believe in hitting a child with a belt. Maybe you need to think of ways to punish her. If you don't study..then no tv or no going to spend the night with your friend next time you ask, etc...

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:04 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • i am a spanker but this isnt spanking it is abuse...there are rules in my home about spanking...

    1) never spank when you are angry
    2)`never more than a pop or two at a time
    3) when you feel so angry after a long haul fight with your stubborn child ( i have a very strong willed child) put YOURSELF in a time out. breathe calm down then go back and reassess..
    4) we NEVER spank any where except the butt, or hand (ie if they wont keep their hands off an item after being told to do so a gazillion times) now with this i must say there has been a time or two where i went to pop that butt and they moves and i got their leg or lower back. (and i felt horrible)
    5) and finally if a child is so worked up that a pop on the butt doesnt help it is time to try somethign else no need in spanking over and over again, when it is clearly not working in this instance. i usually let them be in their room (must stay sitting on bed no toys or fun)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • anon 15 here cont..

    6) we do not use belts. i use my hand or what i call a spanking spoon. it is a plastic stirring spoon...and i hit myself with it hard before i got my kids with doesnt really hurt....but it gives a loud pop sound. and i think it is the sound that gets them. but i wouldnt go any further an that...i have heard of some using paint can stirring sticks. we have all seen those. very light and flimsy....and again it is more of a sound effect thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • you should never spank your child with any object.

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:22 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Most children go through a phase where they don't want to study and get an attitude about it. But beating her with a belt is not necessary!!! And the knot on the head......I better get ready for a possible visit from CPS..and the fact that you just let it go on without saying may as well go in there and beat her yourself. And you do realize that this behavior will mostly likely pass on from your daughter to her a vicious cycle... So what could I have done...I would have followed him and dared him to hit her with the belt...and dared him to hit me..and if he did...I would then move next to a restraining order and a divorce....there is a massive difference between spanking and beating...and I've never known a spanking to give a child a knot on her head. You need to find yourself some esteem, Proverbial nuts and a counsler.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on May. 7, 2010

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