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Would this be wrong of me?

I need an unbiased opinion b/c everyone that knows me is saying that I should just go w/ my mother and I just feel bad about it:

Well me and my dh don't live together (long story; recession woes) but we are still very much together and in love. we have 2 babies already and another due in Aug. Ok, well I stay w/ my grandmother and she announces maybe two weeks ago that we have to leave in two mos b/c she's giving the house back to the bank (reverse mortgage) and asked if we (me and my mother) had a place to go. Well I said yes I did b/c dh has been planning to get an apt for us ever since Jan. Well, turns out the job he had cut hrs and now he's not even working there. He has been searching for other employment but it's not enough. I have too with no luck. Well, all our family is back in our home state and we do have somewhere to go if he can't find employment but he doesn't want to move back there b/c he's afraid he'd (cont'd

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • (cont'd) get back into his old bad habits. Well, I'm like what other option do we have? while you're thinking of how to make money me and your kids are gonna be out on the streets. well, my mom is moving back up north and said to let her know if we are to come w/ her because she could get a 2 bdrm (not so good area but it's something) but I'd be leaving him. I'm like I love you and all but I have to do what's best for me and my children. I cannot have my kids living on the streets or jumping from house to house. Since we have to be out by the end of June I said that if he doesn't have a job by next week then I am just going to tell my mother go ahead and leave w/ her whether he wants us to or not b/c what's important right now are these lil babies. Would I be wrong to just up and leave him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • No. Children come first.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:58 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • If you move back to this place, will you or him be able to find a job? And as for him "getting back into his old habits" tell him to man up. Tere are a lot of people who deal with trying to stay away from bad habits and are succesful, so IMO thats a bull sh** excuse. If you dont think either one of you will get a job moving back then I would go with your mom. Your kids are the most important thing and you need to think about them first, not the fact that you will be away from your dh. You can always move back when he gets a job.
    Amanda7891

    Answer by Amanda7891 at 10:03 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • its not wrong to leave- you do have to do what you need to, in order to provide your children with a stable home. they dont deserve to be shuffled around, from house to house, street to street.
    Shy_Dia

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 10:14 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • no you wouldnt be wrong.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:15 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • @amanda yes there are waaayy more jobs there than here. he just doesn't want to admit it. Even if he doesn't get a job I know for a fact I can. And I agree it's a bullshit excuse. I think in the end he'll have no choice. He can stay if he wants but I'm leaving if he can't provide for us. Thanks for your answers ladies!

    -OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • while i agree that children come first,..because they DO! i think when you marry someone and have a family you stick together. and you say you are still very much in love, i couldntleave my husband. i dont think you're wrong but maybe try a little harder to convince him to comeup there with you. "his old habits" excuse is crazy. (btw) idk you're in a stuff spot.
    mywonderyears

    Answer by mywonderyears at 11:03 AM on May. 7, 2010

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