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Sick of my SO

I am so resentful of him it isn't funny. He sits at home all day doing nothing but watching out 3 year old and by watching I mean putting movies on for her which is ridiculous. He has been unemployed for almost a year and hasn't really started looking. I work 50+ hours a day as a nanny for 3 kids under the age of 3 and I still come home and cook dinner, clean, bathe our daughter, and put her to bed. I bring our laundry to work cuz it's free, so he does literally nothing all day. Yet when I call him to ask him to do something I get attitude about how he cannot clean with our daughter awake. Why not??? I do it. I have no choice, the cleaning has to get done. I am also 6 months pregnant and when I get a craving or something if he doesn't like what I want he won't go get it for me. I am so sick of dealing with him and i don't know how to get him off of his lazy ass without starting a huge fight. Cont'

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Cont' If I tell him he needs to more around the house all he will say is that he is not my slave. Yet he doesn nothing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Oh honey I feel for you! I am right there in that same boat with you only I have 3 girls the youngest is 1. My husband has been out of work for over 2 years! I have thought about leaving him but I am not able to and I love him, I feel like he hasn't really looked for a job or he would have one already. I know that near us there are a lot of people out of work but he could find something. I don't know what to tell you except say something! I have to say something every once in awhile and yes it starts a fight but then he is better for awhile anyway. And I know how you fell I do all of the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids when they are home. Its hard and I am at then end of my rope but I will start that fight when I feel like I need to. Tell him to grow up and go get you some food! Good luck I hope you can work it out and be ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Unfortunately, you may have to start a huge fight. You've tried to calmly express your frustrations to him, and he either won't listen or simply dismisses them. It may take making this into a huge issue to get him to wake up and realize that you are seriously upset and that things need to change. Have you tried leaving everything for him to do? Don't do his laundry, don't clean the house, etc., so that he's forced to either live in the mess or pick up the slack. This will, if nothing else, at least show you his true colors. If he lives in the mess, then he's just plain lazy, and you should move on and find someone who will be your equal. If he picks up the slack, then he's just gotten used to you doing everything and you just change that: you assign him chores, so to speak, and leave them for him to do.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:07 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • It's time to put your foot down. "If you don't get off your lazy ass and start participating in this household like an adult, then you're out of here." Don't make it an empty promise, don't back down eventually, stand your ground. You either have to make him leave or make him to a responsible adult. Either way, this WILL turn into a big fight. It has to, because at this point the nice "Please, will you?" isn't working. You're going to have to be firm and you're going to have to stand your ground. I had to do this with my husband. He and I faught like cats and dogs, but eventually he got the hint and he's been doing a lot better. He knew I was ready to walk out that door with our kids and he didn't wnat that. I didn't either, because I want us to be a family. I love my husband, but I wasn't going to be a single parent/housewife in a two parent home.

    So dig in and lay down the law. He helps out or he gets out.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:20 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Start the huge fight!!!!!!!!! This is crap!!!!!!!! You deserve better!!!!!!!!! Why feel like a single mom and put up with his shit on top of it?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:31 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • well, if he's not contributing, maybe you should see if the family would like a live in nanny and move in with your daughter. not having you around may make him realize what he is missing; cut down on your bills and give you more time with your child.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 5:28 PM on May. 7, 2010

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