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Am I gay?

ok so I've been bisexual since I was in my teens. I've always dated men however I have "been" with females. Lately though I feel like I'm more attracted to females... I have a child and I live with his father ( our relationship is so complicated) I have a female friend and it seems like we are so good together, she seems to bring me up while my babydaddy brings me down.... Do you think this is just me trying to connect with someone since me and the father of my child don't have any conection or spark anymore or am I a lesbian... I love sex with a man but it seems empty..... I'm so confused!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It sounds as if your female friend is just a good shoulder to lean on and to get out your frustrations with your baby's dad. I don't believe that because you have a good connection with someone of the same sex that you are automatically gay. I have a wonderful friendship with my best girl friend but I could never imagine being intimate or in love with her. Honestly, this is a hard question though because only you know how you truly feel about her deep down.

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 10:50 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Many former bisexual women label themselves as such to be accepted in society better, after all if you like to have sex with both, you are kind of like in the middle ground. No need to label yourself, just follow your heart, lesbian or not follow your happiness where it leads you.

    Answer by older at 10:56 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • It could be that you are gay, or it could be that she is providing something that you desperately need from him and aren't getting. Since she's providing it, you are clinging to her, and maybe kind of transferring your feelings to her. It does sound very much like you are trying to connect with someone, but whether that is for a romantic/sexual relationship or just that human connection isn't quite clear. I would be inclined to think it's just the human connection. I know, at times, I've felt distant from my boyfriend, and when I feel close to someone else, it seemed to fill that "gap". Of course, for me, there was never any confusion, b/c I know that I love my boyfriend very much and that our distance was a temporary thing that we would work out, and always did. Your relationship sounds much more complicated than that, which is probably why you aren't sure about your orientation. Just give it all time and see what happens.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:04 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • It sounds like you're connecting with her this strongly for a couple of reasons .. She brings to your friendship everything he doesn't and he brings nothing to your relationship. You might love sex with men, just not him. If he isn't fulfilling what you need in a relationship, then you're likely to find a connection with anyone who does. Girl or guy. You said yourself your bisexual, so you probably do have an attraction to women. However, I think in this case it's due to her bringing to the friendship what he doesn't bring to the relationship. Honestly, if this guy isn't giving you everything you need/want then it's time to move on.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:07 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I don't think that makes you a lesbian i think your just feeling her more right now because your not getting what you want from your baby daddy, so she's just there to comfort you and make you feel better if another man were to come along and sweep you off your feet i'm sure you would feel connected to him so i'd say your still bisexual

    Answer by shanda0914 at 11:36 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • If it were a guy you were close to like this people would tell you to focus on your marriage and the grass is not always greener on the other side. So I would say focus on your marriage and the grass is not always greener on the other side. If you like having sex with men then your straight or bi sexual. But I don't think lebians like having sex with you are not gay.

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:41 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I've always said that I would much rather be in a relationship with a woman and have sex with a man. I think that would be the perfect situation. I think you're just getting your emotional needs met from a female and that's not uncommon. Until very recently women always got all of their emotional support from other women but these days we expect our make counter parts to provide everything. It's natural to feel greater emotional connects with women because we can relate to each other and offer support in ways that we need. I don't think that you're necessarily a lesbian but you maybe feel emotionally neglected and willing to jump in with anyone that meets your needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on May. 7, 2010

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