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Would u have second thought marry a man that was 30 years old and never had anything in life, he still lives with his mama, only thing he owns is a car. He drives trucks we have 3 kids and i love him but i don't want to make a big mistake. He will be living with me i know i should of thought of this before the kids but too late now. My family is saying he's a free loader that's why he wants to get married. We have been together on and off for 6 years. No bashing i just want some advise.

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mamaofficer

Asked by mamaofficer at 11:25 AM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (50,120 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Sorry advice spelled it wrong
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 11:27 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Im sorry, I would have to agree with your family. I know some people have it rough but really 30 years old and still at home...Seems kind of strange to me. Is he trying to do something with his life???
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 11:27 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Here's a formul that works for me every time. What ever issues you have with him, times that by ten, and you'll have an idea of what marriage would be like. All of my friends would agree with me. Ask yourself if you really want to tell yourself short. If he is a free loader, he wants a mamma not a wife. Also, if you take away mil's son, she'll get in the way...
    LisaG777

    Answer by LisaG777 at 11:27 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • With no expenses and a job, he must have money in the bank. Do you love him? You already have kids with him, so you already are invested in him. I think I would in your case.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:28 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I may marry him, AFTER and only after, he moved out of his moms and proved to me he can and WILL support himself. If he did that, I would consider it.
    leslie_zoe2010

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 11:31 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • Its time to think realistic. He's no longer a little boy trying to find his way in life, he's a grown man accepting life the way it is..he's comfortable living at home with mama while still making babies with you...why would he change?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:35 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I'd have to see more signs of maturity and responsibility before I'd be willing to marry him. You have 3 kids to take care of, do you really need another dependent person in your life?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • If he didn't step up after the FIRST baby, what makes you think he is going to do so now? It sounds like he has proven to you already that he is not motivated, mature, or responsible. If you marry him you know what you are getting.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I don't really know your relationship status but if he wanted to make a change he would have.... It migt be a security thing idk... All I know is that I know a 30 years old who is similar and he is a free loader. He want to become man of the house and what's yours is his but don't want to help out around the house . Such as pick up after himself cook for himself, wash his own clothes,mow the grass.... Or even help out with the bills. A close relative of mine is 52 years old and he is such a dirt bag! His wife married him 10 years ago and she is a strong church woman. She doesn't believe in divorces. He free loads bad! He doesn't pay one bill.... Not one except for his brand new vehicle he wanted to get. She works from 8am to 11pm.... She is 50 years old and takes care of her sick parents and her daughter who has handicap. He wants everything and gives nothing. Don't ignore yourself... You have doubts, listen to the doubts
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on May. 7, 2010

  • I think if he really wants to marry you he would go out and get a place for his family to live not sit around at his mama's house KWIM. Is he going to provide for you, take care of you ? Also whatever problems you have now multiply by about 5 or 10 and that is how it will be. I have been with the same man for 8 years, married for 4 this July and things have been rough !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on May. 7, 2010

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