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What can I do to make him understand?

I have been with my SO almost two years. and no he isn't perfect. but we work well together. After being hurt before i almost feel like i am so guarded. But lately, i feel really unappreciated and neglected. He would drop anything for one of his friends, but he cant be bothered to do something for me. For example I'll ask him to pick me up for work and it's always: well i gotta do this and that for so and so" i mean what about me? he NEVER does things for me. I do so much for him. I feel like i am being taken advantage of. I wish i didn't. i love him a lot. My question is how do i stop these feelings, i don't want to ruin a good relationship, because I'm so wired? Any advice would be great!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • "However i don't know what if there is anything i can do to change this."

    People don't change. They are what they are.

    "He is a good man...and my checklist for that is pretty high, this one area is the problem, is it deal breaker?"

    Yes, because he is selfish.

    " can i somehow help him to see that this is a flaw?"

    You've already told him. He's not acknowledging it and he will not change.

    "I am generally an overly giving and accommodating person. that is just my nature? have i been doing too much for him?"

    Yes, you have.

    " do i make it easy for him to be selfish?"

    Nothing YOU do has anything to do with his personality flaw; that belongs to him alone. You can either choose to accept that this is who he is, or decide you've spent enough time on him and move on.

    People don't change.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:09 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • That's not a good relationship. He puts his friends before you. Open your eyes and really look at your relationship. My husband and I have always put each other before our friends. He'll drop everything to do what I need.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:18 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • If he's been with you for 2 years and puts his friends before you, than I'd say it's not a good relationship and you shouldn't "stop these feelings" they are legitimate feelings.

    Georgie0502

    Answer by Georgie0502 at 1:24 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • You state that the two of you work well together...but if he's neglecting your needs, then how is that working well together? Sounds like you're there for him but when you need him he turns his back on you...how's that working well together? Do you feel the love from him? You say you love him, my question is...whats love to you?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:35 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Okay so...i know what love is. And i also know what it isnt'. And he just seems to be selfish. and I'm fully aware that selfishness has no place in a loving relationship. However i don't know what if there is anything i can do to change this. He is a good man...and my checklist for that is pretty high, this one area is the problem, is it deal breaker? can i somehow help him to see that this is a flaw? I am generally an overly giving and accommodating person. that is just my nature? have i been doing too much for him? do i make it easy for him to be selfish? i don't ask him to do things for me often. I don't ask for money, clothes, help with bills. I am very independent. However i feel i ride from work on his day off, it's that much too ask. Yet it not happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I'd have to agree with the other ladies...doesn't sound like a good relationship to me.
    but my advice (like with everything), is to COMMUNICATE with him. it really is the key.

    a spouse is always #1 priority.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 1:58 PM on May. 7, 2010

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