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Wish it wasn't the case..

I met my ex in 2005.. We were so in love, but ended up breaking each others hearts anyways.. i haven't seen him since late 2006 but i've still kept in touch with him, and that spark hasn't burnt out yet..

even though i'm currently married with a 1 year old...

I never wanted to be that woman that gets divorced or changes her mind.. but i don't know what to do.. my husband seems like he cares sometimes.. he's trying now that he knows i'm still in love with my ex.. but he makes me feel alone when we're in a room full of people.. and all i can think about is what my ex is doing..

It gets so much worse than that ... i haven't cheated on him obviously.. and my ex wouldn't let me and i couldn't .. but i need to fix this soon before everyone is hurt..

I want to hear from some of you ladies.. if you were in this situation.. who'd you pick.. how'd it turn out... do you regret it?

Answer Question
 
Jan0609momma

Asked by Jan0609momma at 1:33 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (471 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Love the one your with.
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 1:36 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • The grass is never greener. Living it now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • If your not happy then find happiness. Just think about the once that are involved ( your child & hubby). Also remember that you broke one another's hearts once and it could easily happen again. I think you should really see what you have in your life right now and look at what you had back then and look at what you want for the future and keep your child in mind cause whatever choose you make right now or for the rest of your life will have an effect or that child of yours. Once you become a mother it's not about just you anymore it's about the whole family you chose to make.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • the grass is not always greener. there is obviously a reason you two are EX'S.

    learn to appreciate your hubby. praise the good things instead of focusing on the negative things. loving our husbands isn't always a "feeling"..but a CHOICE you need to make. you vowed it to him and you owe him that.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 1:48 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • You should do what your heart tells you because you cant be with someone you dont love and if you still love your ex i think you should take time alone if you decide to leave your husband and that will give you time to think through what you really want. But i know is hard for you because you have a child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I agree with the PPs. In addition, I would say what you can DO about it is stop communicating with the ex. It seems that being in contact with him is already hurting you and your marriage. As long as you are in touch with him, you will be dangling in between and be confused and dissatisfied. I know it might be hard, but do this because it's right and because you respect your family. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 2:09 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I would drop all contact with ex and spend my time and energy making my marriage work. You and your husband can make it work, tell your husband you want to reconnect and do the things you used to love doing. Have a reg. date night and surprise eachother.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 2:16 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • There was a time I felt alone when in a room full of people with my husband. He is not the touchy feely type. But I now realize that is just his way. He shows me love other ways. I let go of what he doesn't do and focused on what he does do and I started to notice things like how he gets me food when he gets his or gives me a drink. How he takes care of the kids when I am talking to someone. So I agree the grass is NOT greener on the other side even though it may seem that way now! Love your husband and focus on the good things spend time with him. I believe that when you love someone you never really stop. But if you are not around that person in time your feelings will fade and then your heart is more open to love someone else like your husband.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:37 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I would let go of what could be between me and my ex. I would work on my husband because if he's your husband there's a reason why you married him...Did you husband just began making you feel this way? IF so, then he could be thinking about you being in love with another man...If he's always done this to you, why are you complaining?
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:34 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • pretty much what i have to say regarding the whole ex thing is on this response:

    http://www.cafemom.com/answers/408967/Obsession?cat_id=&next=11#answers

    instead of focusing on what is likely to not be focus on making your marriage work. sometimes it helps to really spell out exactly what you mean when you tell your husband about your complaints, but not be more specific in your complaints per se, but be very specific regarding your desires and expectations - give him a little help!! you're as big a part of the problem if you don't communicate and if you don't commit to making the marriage work in partnership with your husband.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:50 PM on May. 7, 2010

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