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Crying it out...

I am trying the cry it out method for my baby. I have tried several other ways to get her to sleep but nothing is working and she isnt getting good rest and neither am i... My husband is on board now, we have committed to trying this method and I want to see it out. But hearing my baby cry is breaking my heart! I go in every few minutes and reassure her and shhh her. Has anyone had success with this? I am on my first day and its the hardest thing Ive ever done in my life. I know its important for her to learn to fall asleep on her own when she is tired.
Also, live in an apartment...do I need to talk to my neighbors and let them know whats going on so they don't think im neglecting her or something?!
Please no bashing...ive decided we are going to try this whole heartedly just like we have the other methods... If you haven't done this with your kids...believe me I totally understand why you wouldnt, its hard. But please

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cpuckett27

Asked by cpuckett27 at 5:44 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (33 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I am in the same boat with you, I have a 10 month old who refuses to sleep in the crib or with us for that matter, I am going to be looking for updates on your question I would like to hear what other moms have to say. We are also trying your method, but like you I am weak and I give in about 10 minutes into it, Nathan's crib is in our room so I have to not only hear him but watch him cry, I can't do it :(
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 5:51 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • your supposed to rock your baby to bed. he'll go to sleep on his own when hes ready. hes just a baby. i know its frustrating, when im tired, i cant stand having to sit there and rock him to sleep but you do what you gotta do when your a mom i guess. i thought about the CIO method too, it doesnt work. at least not for me. he'll cry for two hrs if i left him there.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:57 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • CIO isn't a method, it's neglect. Ignoring your baby's cries is neglect.

    If nothing else has worked (google sleep methods long goodbye and give that one a try first) then you can Ferber. There will be crying with Ferber, but you aren't neglecting your child. You actually kind of Ferbering now because you're going in to check, but if your checks are random it won't work. You checks need to increase in intervals.

    Check after 3 min, then 5 min, then 8, then 12, then 17, then 20 min and hold at 20 (going in every 20 till she falls asleep). On these checks don't pick her up unless she needs to be changed or is sick, but you can soothe with your voice and laying your hand on her.

    The Ferber method can be found in Dr. Richard Ferber's book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" and it's available on Amazon.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 5:59 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I have read and heard from friends that once you decide to do it you have to stick with it cause if you go in and get them after however long you leave them, they get confused and know that the longer they cry eventually someone will come get them. I have been going in every 10 or so minutes to shhh her... This time Ive waited 20 minutes cause I think you are supposed to go longer. I probably should have started her earlier. Its really so hard! I hope I can do it cause I know it will be better for her to learn to sleep on her own. Good luck to you! This sucks!!!!
    cpuckett27

    Answer by cpuckett27 at 6:00 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • How old is she? From experience, I can tell you that you don't HAVE to CIO in order for kids to sleep independantly. They WILL do it when they are ready. It may not be until the toddler years, but it will happen. I say this because many people believe, or have been told that if they DON'T let their kids cry it out, they will need to be held/rocked/nursed to sleep for ever.

    I'm not really thrilled with the idea, but i DID do it when my daughter was 9-10 months. I would nurse her to sleep. She was OUT COLD. The second I put her down in her crib, she'd wake, screaming. I'd pick her up and nurse her again, and the cycle would continue for a while each night. One night, I nursed her to sleep, put her down, and when she woke, I told her it was sleep time and she had to go to sleep. She cried about 15 mins the first night, I checked on her at 5 mins, 10 mins, and just as I was about to check on her the last time, she was
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:02 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I am absolutely not neglecting her. She is tired...will fall asleep in my arms and then when I go to lay her down in her crib she gets upselt. I am trying to train her to fall asleep on her own which is a gift to her. She knows I am here . She is fed, changed and comfortable and TIRED!
    cpuckett27

    Answer by cpuckett27 at 6:02 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I know that she would sleep through the night when she is ready... but don't think its necessery for us both to have years of bad nights sleep. She needs good sleep in order to develop properly and right now she isnt getting it. I am going to stick with it! Ive made the decision and already started so Im not going to confuse her by changing it up again.
    cpuckett27

    Answer by cpuckett27 at 6:04 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • asleep. It was between 5 and 10 mins the second night, the third night she fussed for less then 5 mins. After that, we had no problem. We got to a point where I could put her to bed awake, but sleepy, and she'd go to sleep.

    My son, nurses to sleep still, at 2 1/2. He does not wake when I move him. We went from co sleeping to his crib just before his second birthday. I have not tried CIO with him because, first, I HATED doing it with DD and second, once I nurse him to sleep, put him in his crib, he generally sleeps all night. He does wake here and there occasionally, but not often.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:04 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I understand you are trying to "train" her. I've been through this twice, and now a third time. I understand how tired you and baby both are. What I mean when I say CIO isn't a method is it isn't training her to sleep. CIO teaches your baby that you won't come when they cry. I know you are a good mom and not being mean. You are just uninformed about sleep. Babies will cry for hours until they pass out from exhasution...not go to sleep, literally pass out.

    Please read up on "the long goodbye," "the no cry sleep solution," and "Ferber" before you continue.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 6:05 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Keep in mind that CIO to sleep does not mean she'll sleep all night. My DD did not STTN when we started CIO, and at 4 yrs STILL does not. I agree that CIO is not NEGLECT, but it's better to wait until child is older (don't know how old yours is OP). It's not neglect if you are constantly checking on them and reassuring them. Like I said, it's not the best idea, and I don't like it, but it DID work well with my daughter. I fully believe she understood most of what was going on.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:08 PM on May. 7, 2010

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