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who initiates sex? who do you expect to initiate sex? who does all of "the work"?

i feel like its always one of the people that wants to have sex at the time, and theyre the ones who actually starts the kissing, goes down first, etc. and makes the other one feel wanted. i know men and women both want to be the one feeling wanted, but i guess i feel like it should be the man wanting the women more often. i feel like my SO doesnt do that often eough. theres nothing enough passion. its like always oh ok lets have sex stick it in and im getting really bored of that. is it a guy thing or what? do they just start to get lazy or is it just my SO?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Well at our house lately it is "do you want to have sex"... no fore play nothing. I am tired of it too. We will see how this next weeks goes in Vegas..

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 8:19 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • We try to kind of be equal. Sometimes he initiates, sometimes I do. Past relationships for me, the guy always initiated. So it took some getting used to, to be the one initiating. Truthfully, sometimes I still have problems with it. I just try to remind myself that it's not fair to expect him to always do everything. Once things get going, there really isn't one of us doing all the work. We tend to both be very involved.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:49 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • We co-sleep, in two different rooms. So there is no spontaneity, it's all planned ahead of time. So no one really initiates. But I will say he does most of the work. I can't be on top because of issues with my hips and he has some issues that make him lose his erection on a regular basis, so if he is in control he can deal with that stuff better.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:56 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I'd say it's about 50/50 in my marriage.

    Try this, wear a very sexy bra and thong and then seductively undress for bed in front of him. 


    Answer by beeky at 8:03 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I used to initiate it sometimes but SO is a control freak and now the King says I need to let him initiate it. It's all good.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • My SO initates sex, but he wants me to give him a B.J....he wants satisfaction for himself initally. When we have straight sex, he hits my g-spot then he loses his stamina, so I'm left hanging.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on May. 7, 2010