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Should a mother be a friend to her daughter or a mother?

A friend meaning, she allows her to do what she wants, helps her get guys (or laid), and doesn't really give her any boundaries.

A mom, of course, setting rules, standards for who she dates, etc.

Just wondering because I was watching that stupid "Date My Mom" show and it's amazing how alot of moms try to be "friends" with their daughters rather than their "mom". I mean I think it's important to have a positive relationship with your children, but I don't think it's appropriate for a mother to help her daughter "get some". That's just my opinion though.

Answer Question
 
GinNTonic

Asked by GinNTonic at 8:02 PM on May. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (6,147 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • MOM!
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 8:05 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I've had many "friends" and they were not people who allowed me to do what I want or help me get laid. They were people who I could confide my innermost thoughts and they would always be there for me. So yes I think you can be both a mom and a firend.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 8:07 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I think some moms would rather be a friend to their daughters rather than a mom because they're afraid their daughter will hate them or something.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 8:09 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • i think you can be both. i think you should set boundaries and rules, but your daughter should trust you and be able to tell you things, not be afraid that your going to punish them for everything you do. i want my daughter to be able to trust me. you know, i would rather my daughter trust me enough to tell me when shes having sex, so that i can help her be protected, rather then her be afraid im going to flip out and punish her so she doesnt tell me and ends up pregnant or with an STD. i think alot of moms on here try to hard to control there kids for too long, especially with things like sex. it doesnt matter how badly you want your daughter to be a virgin until shes married, if she doesnt want to, shes not going too. so do you want her to trust you, or be scared of you?
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:12 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I agree purpul. My mom always thought that we were close, but I never felt like I could talk to her about having sex because she would freak out. I know she would. She freaked out when she just THOUGHT I was having sex with my boyfriend when I wasn't. So I agree that you should build trust in your children so that they can confide in you when things like that happen, but at the same time, be responsible and educate them on sex and STDs, etc.

    I don't think helping them get laid is right, but I think helping them with their relationships if they need it, is good.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 8:16 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • both....i think it is important to be a mother first....but you can also be your childs friend...and when they grow up..u will come to realize they are now your friend...because as a mother of a grown child you can voice your opinion like friends do but you no longer have authority to enforce it.....mom first, with friend as a close second....respect, and trust...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • yeah.
    but on a lighter note, i have seen that date my mom show and its very trashy. thats alittle overboard.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:20 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I think it's important to be a MOM while they are young. But once they are teens, it's more important for a mom to be close. Parents who are close to their teens have less trouble with them, they know where they are, they know who they are with and they know what they are doing.

    I see nothing wrong with teens having sex, I had LOTS of sex as a teen... It's fun, natural and healthy when done safely - just like any other activity... Hell, sex done safely is safer than football done safely, yet no one ever has an issue with football... I see nothing wrong with a mom being friends with their older children. You aren't raising them at that point, you are just there to guide, who better to guide than their kids than a friend?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • when they move out your house and pay their own bills then you can be friends
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 8:33 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • A mother,but also not a beligerant tyrant.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 9:10 PM on May. 7, 2010

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