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Is it wrong that I dont want my dh to see our son?

Just to give a little back ground on the situation. Dh starting smoking weed around out premature infant. So I asked him "your family or weed? I came home from work and he was gone. I couldnt afford the appartment with the baby hospital bill so we had to move. Six weeks later, he wants to see the baby. I dont want him to. Am I wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Why aren't you divorced yet? He's a piece of garbage and I wouldn't let him anywhere near my son.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 9:54 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • I dont think your wrong.. i think if he is going to see him it should be supervised.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Don't they sell drug tester's at the Pharmacy? Make him take one and then if he's clean tell'm I'll Iet you see the baby, but supervised.
    yolandasix

    Answer by yolandasix at 9:57 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • First of all, I commend you on your actions! Way to go!! Stand firm and go to an attorney, get a divorce and seek permanent custody!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • you need to set up a custody arrangement through the courts. he is your child's father and the courts will allow him visitation....even if its just supervised. however, unless a custody arrangment is made through the courts, if you leave your child with another person, your husband could come and take him where ever without your permission or knowledge. get a lawyer and/or go to court.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:57 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • It sounds like you need some time. Tell him to give you a little while, and stand your ground. Eventually, no matter what bad habits he has in his own personal time, your child still deserves to know his dad in a clean safe environment. Tell him supervised visits are okay. Be careful admitting that you knew he smoked around the baby to anyone outside of your home, because sometimes DHS will hold that against you, depending on the circumstances. Just watch what you say. If he fights for custody... then mention to your case worker that you want full custody, with supervised visitation, because you suspect that he does drugs. That should be enough to make sure that both parents are able to know the child, but to ensure that the baby is safe.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • nope...but you will need to go to court to protect the child and yourself. In most states, if you let him have any visitation with out a court order of some sort in place, he does not have to give the child back. Keep that in mind. Make sure you mention that you want drug testing and supervised visitation.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • You are only trying to protect your child. That is why it is not wrong in my opinion. I do agree that it should be supervised at least until you can be sure he isn't doing any drugs.
    mceama

    Answer by mceama at 10:00 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • i would let him see the baby (for the baby's sake, not his) but ONLY SUPERVISED VISITATION. however, you know him better than us, and if you dont want him to see the baby, you should go with your instinct on that. i would get a family law attorney and get the ball rolling on the custody and visitation process as soon as possible. best of luck to you.
    llmunoz05

    Answer by llmunoz05 at 10:01 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Okay, I am going to be brutally honest and I don't mean this in any disrespectful way. This actually the WORST thing you can do to a child... Denying his right as a father is simply wrong and childish.. Not all couples see eye to eye. Some relationships are fixable and others not so much. But just because your relationship with him didn't work out doesnt mean you have the right to destroy theirs. but you are the parent of this child, not me, and you should do as you please. But hey, what do I know.... I'm only a soon to be mother of twins, whos never had a father and I have been blessed with a man that is so excited to be a daddy... and let me tell you...... I thank GOD every morning for him BECAUSE he cares so much about our little blessings
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 10:01 PM on May. 7, 2010

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