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What should I do about a pushy Catholic FIL?

My husband's whole family is *sorta* Roman Catholic. My husband is not. He sorta defected from the Catholic scene after his religious grandmother died. He never felt like it fit him, and he isn't at all religious. He is minimally spiritual, he's much more secular. I am eclectic pagan and we are raising our children educated in all paths, and allowing them to choose for themselves.

My FIL has recently been really pushy about religion. He keeps dropping hints in letters and asking us when we're going to get our daughter baptized or if we're going to mass. Today my husband was given a subpoena to testify in a murder trial and he's freaking out about it. His dad was like "Don't you wish you've been going to church all this time now? Won't you be uncomfortable swearing on a Bible?"

It's getting old and really annoying. What can I say to get him to lay off?


Asked by Ati_13 at 10:14 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • What worked for me you probably wont want to do, but my MIL was pushing catholicism on me, so when she hit a sore subject one day I lost it and flashed her. My dh thought it was a hoot I doubt yours would but she never mentioned it again. LOL The subject was that Breast implants were against God, which I don't even have them, but she said I had to because hers didn't look that good after having dh.

    Just stay firm and tell him that you would like to have a good relationship, but if he keeps pushing this you are afraid it wont be possible. Good luck.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 8:00 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • just tell him flat out you don't want to to scare your children into faith.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Your husband needs to be the one to address this since it's his father.

    Answer by indymom22 at 10:18 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • for what your FIL is saying directed to your husband about his behavior, its all on your dh. when he directs something about your child, you have every right to have your say. IMO

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:32 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • Your DH needs to talk to his father. As far as you having your Child baptized If you're not going to raise him the faith. Baptism could more harm then good. I had to tell my Husband to back off our SIL Pushing never brings People to the faith or Home again.


    Answer by oldermomof5 at 5:42 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • Deal with them the same way I deal with my in-laws. I'm polite and cordial but as soon as they start pushing I walk away or I say something to end the conversation. Like the others have said the best way is for dh to talk to them when you aren't around. It's the best non confrontational way to go.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:31 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • won't be able to make him stop, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let him know firmly that you have made your decision and it isn't what he was hoping for.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • I agree with the others, your husband needs to handle this - it is his father.

    And a side note, people aren't asked to swear on the bible anymore, you have to ask to use the bible if you want it.


    Answer by .Eveningstar. at 9:19 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • My husband & I have basically the same beliefs as you. Since it was so important to Our Parents to Baptize our Son we did it and I am very happy I did. I feel that Our Little Boy was "Blessed" and any Blessing is Positive. We did it at 3 months. Our Parents will not be around for ever so it was just as important for for us to see them proud of thier Grandson. I believe that any Blessing from whatever religion is better than no blessing at all. I will let my Son choose his path when he is old enough to do it. That's my opinion. Blessed be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • I'd tell him to keep going, because you want your kids to be so terrified of his god that they will never, EVER want to go anywhere NEAR a church, which is what is going to happen if he keeps going. Reverse psychology and it's only half joking. You could also try speaking like Tarzan. "My kids. Not your kids. Me raise them MY way." The truth eventually worked with my ultra-religious mom--but only after many efforts to get thru. Parents can be pretty thick-headed.

    Answer by witchqueen at 3:45 PM on May. 8, 2010