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Does anyone else have a SO that takes them for granted?

My SO goes to work in the am comes home around 4pm. He then wants to sit and watch tv or play on the computer. Some days he doesn't get home until after 12am from doubling at work. I am suppost to take care of the kids, clean the house, take care of all the bills, be with my children 24/7. I ask him to help me out when he gets home or on the days he don't work and all e does is tune me out and complain that the kids wrecked up again. I am sick and having trouble moving so I asked him to stay at home tonight and he yelled at me. He said we need money so he's going to make the money. I just wish he could understand how I feel. We have 4 children the youngest is 10mts. Our 1 son has Autisum and my daughter has developmental delays. So sometimes I just need a moment for myself. I feel like a single mom a lot of the time.Anyone got some advice to try to get through to him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on May. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • try putting yourself in his shoes. Niether one of you are wrong, but you have to find a compromise.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:55 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • You need some outside help. I used to have the same complaints but realized that my hubby was way too tired to help more even though he did understand I needed help. Have someone else come watch your kids, go grocery shopping alone, take a bath, have them watch them while you clean. If you have family or friends ask them, other moms-switch days, one day @ your house next @ hers, one watches the kids while the other cleans. Check for special needs respites and groups in your area, if you go to church talk to the old ladies you know are lonely & see if they'll come watch your kids or help you. Hubby can't do it, find other help.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 11:00 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • My husband once told me "My only repsonsibility is my job." After getting married, having two kids, and buying a house together his only responsibility is his job? Bull! I told him "We did not create this life so I could be a single mother and housewife. Working my ass off every day without a chance to clock out, have breaks, or do what I want to do. So you could come home and sit on your ass until you sack out." It took a lot of arguing and a lot of me just going at him for him to give in. I know that he still believes that his only responsibility is his job and I still want to punch him in the face for believing that. However, he now does the dishes, takes out the trash, and helps with the kids when I need him too.

    Though we still have issues with him playing his nonpausable games (he's a gamer) when the kids are awake. He acts as though he's literally saving the world and I'm interrupting him. Ugh!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:34 PM on May. 7, 2010

  • P.S. Don't give in. Your husband has 50% responsibility with housework and kids. You are one person and cannot be honestly expected to do everything when he is capable of helping out. We all know that our SO's are tired from working, but we are tired from working too. Except we don't get to clock out, we don't get our half hour lunch and our smoke breaks with the guys in the yard. We are 24/7 and we have to miss our favorite shows, we have to eat our lunch in a hurry, we have to take a shower at late hours, just so we can get back to doing what we signed up for. The thing is, we're not the only ones who signed up for this. Regardless if they were planned or not, they're there. So he needs to man the F*ck up and take responsibility for what he helped create.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:37 PM on May. 7, 2010

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