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What do I do? I am so confused

I have been a widow for 7 years and still miss my husband dearly. I have four children 21,20,18,15. There is a man that would treat me as a queen. In fact he has for 5 years. No matter how many times I have made fun of him and just been downright mean to him he still calls and showsup. He has been by my side even through the heart surgery I just had. He knows I hate flowers but showed up at the hospital with a stuffed cow. I have pushed him away so many times but he just keeps coming back. I don't want to hurt anymore. Do I try and let him into my life or just keep running?

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madukes01562

Asked by madukes01562 at 2:10 AM on May. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • let him in sounds like a decent guy
    hotmami2ajae

    Answer by hotmami2ajae at 2:18 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • nobody can make your heart feel what it doesnt feel... so first you need to figure out............. do you like him and you're just scared to start something new or are you just not interested? if you're interested and holding yourself back, just take it slow...nobody says you need to get married tommrow... who knows... you might be suprised! remember though, never force the heart to do something or you will just reject and push it away later =) good luck!
    FITmama2B

    Answer by FITmama2B at 2:20 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • If he has put up with all of this, and he understands the things you've been through, and you think your ready to be have that affection in your life, go for it. I understand you miss your husband, but dont you think hed want you to be happy?
    colbysmommie95

    Answer by colbysmommie95 at 2:23 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • I think you should let him go and then send me his name and phone #
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 2:24 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • Hubby actually knew this man. When he killed himself he wrote an 8 page letter telling me that he knew this one would make me happy and I deserved to be. He said I was special and didn't need anyone but that this was one guy that would never leave me or hurt me. I wish he hadn't been so damn smart.. He does make me happy just in a very different way than my hubby did. I don't know how to handle someone who loves me enough to know everything about me have that be enough.

    madukes01562

    Answer by madukes01562 at 2:29 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • Sounds like you know deep down what's best. Don't be afraid to take your won advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • Hey, with your second response you have given us more info,,,Im so sorry your husband took his life,,,for his own reasons, he couldnt stay here,,,,have you been to counseling and more important,,have you really accepted the fact that this was his decision? So we move on to the fact that your deceased hubby listed the guy we are talking about as someone you should be with? You know what hon,,,you have got to get past the overwhelming guilt,,,his taking his life IS not now,,or could ever be associated with you. He was messed up,,,and ya know what,,,in his messed up state,,he saw that this guy who probably was there for the whole family,,,but he could see that this man,,,was there for the family, would be there for you,,cause he couldnt be,,,,for his own reasons....between me and you,,,,,sounds like you got a really great guy here,,,and its ok now to move on,,,,good luck hon
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • He has proven himself to you already. Give him a break. Let him into your life.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:02 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • do what your heart tells you!! be happy for yourself!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on May. 8, 2010

  • Your stupid person, you know that!?! How lucky are you to have two good men in your life, let alot just one. If you can't see what you got right in from of ya then you deserve to HURT!

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:45 AM on May. 8, 2010

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