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I don''t think anyone is doing anything for me tomorrow...

It seems like after we got married, DH stopped trying to do anything nice for me on birthdays and holidays, he usually gives me cash to go shop for myself. And, while that's nice, I'm one of those "its the thought that counts" type of people, and there is no "thought" to giving someone money. Our son is only 2, so unless my DH did something, I won't have anything special going on tomorrow. And all he's done for past Mother's Days is give me money or promises he never keeps. I'm tired of feeling hurt on days like this, but I've tried to tell him how I feel before and it hasn't changed. Anybody have any suggestions on how to stop feeling so hurt when your DH/SO disappoints you on Mother's Day?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on May. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • mothers day isn't even a real holiday. it's just a halmark holiday designed for companies to make more money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • My DH is not doing anything for me tomorrow either, he completley forgot it was mothers even though i kept telling him i got to pick up cards for the Mil and my Its ok though, i really dont mind that much i still got my DD and DH to spend the day with and thats all that matter! :) Happy mothers day!

    Answer by mommylisar at 7:03 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • Mother's day is older than Hallmark, It's just being co-opted like every other holiday.

    I'm not getting any special treatment either. My dh once called me on my birthday about a special surprise, then brought home a can of pringles. sigh.

    Answer by cedailey at 7:05 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • You are not his mother. He shouldn't have to do anything for you. Quit thinking of yourself. Think of your mom or your grandmother. Your time will come when your child is older.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:11 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • Gosh anons...feeling mean and cranky today? I understand how you feel OP, it would be nice if our men could make a little extra effort to make us feel special sometimes. My dh has gotten better at this recently but he still isn't all that into holidays and stuff. You just get used to it over time (they will never put as much effort into it as we generally do, just learn to accept it)...hey at least he acknowledges it and gives you some money and that's a lot more than most men do. Trust me.
    Oh and P.S. It's okay to think of yourself. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to be completely selfless. Take his money and act super grateful about it...then tell him you're going shopping with a girlfriend and leave the kids with him for a couple of hours. You deserve it.

    Answer by moniquinha at 7:22 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • I know how you feel, my dh doesn't th ink I need anything from the kids on these days, I wish just once he would go out and let them pick a small gift for me, but it will never happen so I just go with the I love you from the kids

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • I know I have to agree it is a Hallmark Holiday !!!! Will celebrate Mother's day with dh mom and my mom and see family and hear about the jewlery or gifts they got for mother's day !!! But nothing for me . A little something would be nice since I am the mother of his children and he is very much though of on father's day !!!!!! That is just how it is with us Moms!!!!!! Being a mom is enough for me !!!!!

    Answer by ramajil at 7:34 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • i was thinking even if cleaned the house would not have to buy anything would be totally awesome !!!!!

    Answer by ramajil at 7:39 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • I know how you feel. It is not about the gifts and money that is spent. It is about the recognition that we are given for all that we do. I have tried to get through my DH's head, but he seems to forget every time. I have three kids, him, and my disabled mother and lazy father to take care of. I never sleep after 7 am, sometimes I can sleep until 7:30. I am the one who gets up with my kids if they wake up in the night. And my mom is another can of worms. It is so frustrating to do for everyone and be taken advantage of. One way I get over it is by doing crafts for other moms and being busy. I also cook something that I LOVE. I don't care if no one else will eat it. And if my DH gives me money, I save it up and get myself something crazy and unnecessary. It is nice to do for myslef and make me happy, but it really doesn't take away from my hurt feelings. I hope you have a Happy Mother's Day no matter what!!!!!


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:41 PM on May. 8, 2010

  • It's just a silly hallmark holiday. Does he appreciate what you do every day? Does he tell you he loves you? Does he sometimes give you a bit of time to yourself? We don't need one day a year full of fake sentiment and over priced flower and gifts.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 7:41 PM on May. 8, 2010

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