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How do you Mom's Deal with your husband being deployed on Mother's Day?

I am feeling a bit complacent. One one hand I want to be happy, but I'm also feeling a bit depressed. So I sit here today, not really wanting to celebrate because its just not the same without David here. I am totally broke, so I can't do anything for myself just to not have to cook today. His family is going out to Red Lobster to celebrate. It just really sucks. All of you military wives/girlfriends how have you gotten through holidays?

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Asked by aebrown at 12:53 PM on May. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (61 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I refuse to be depressed over a overly commercialized holiday.

    I was a full time mom yesterday, I will be a full time (single, no less!) mom tomorrow. Today is just another day! Though I love that my kids have tried to make today special for me :)

    The way I see it, you've got two choices. Feel sorry for yourself, or refuse to be sucked into that and just be happy!


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • Its part of the process for any job. I feel bad for you, but I also want to say your husband chose this line of work and that is what goes with it. I am grateful for what he is doing for this country and my freedom, just to be clear though. But, when he signed up you knew what you were getting into. Find another housewife in the group and do something together. Its how it works. You have access to those things. I have a husband in law enforcement and can tell you for over 25 years he's missed birthdays, holidays, family gatherings, and hasn't been home for a christmas yet. Our kids thought he let santa into the houses for the other kids. You make due. Be happy he has a job and move on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • My husband isn't here either but you can't let today be any different than any other day. Instead of focusing on the hallmark holiday today, focus on the great holiday of his coming home! Whether it be a year from now....or 2 weeks.

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 12:58 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • By the way...this is coming from a military wife who's husband has been gone since November in which he missed his birthday, my birthday, our son's first thanksgiving, christmas, new years, our sons first birthday, valentines day, and now mother's day...but we will be together FINALLY for fathers day :)

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 1:00 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • I SO support the women and men left behind, who's family members are in the armed services, who are proud and stand on their own two feet. They are trying to make it work until their partner returns. YOU are so special and YOU are the reason our country is so strong. Thank You!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • Exactly right. Ok, no more moping, its just another day...its a little hard when people are txting me. Yep, I do know that he chose this line of work. Just not having anyone to share it with is hard. we went through Easter without him, it was so much easier dealing with that holiday because I spent it with my friend. Today its just us, the house is a wreck. I can't seem to keep it clean, the kids make messes wherever they go. I'm about to lock myself in my walk in closet and read...just to have some time to myself. His family is never really around, so breaks from kids is almost impossible. I will just count down the days until R & R. Then after that its about 3 to 4 months he'll be home!

    Answer by aebrown at 1:19 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • enjoy the day withur kids.... thats all its really about! hugs

    Answer by mirit.rose at 1:20 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • "the kids make messes wherever they go. I'm about to lock myself in my walk in closet and read...just to have some time to myself."

    Go for it!! I just locked my self in the bathroom and took a bubble bath! I spent the first half of the day entertaining the kids and playing games with them, then it hit me... its mother's day! The emphasis being on "Mother". I can entertain them and make them feel wonderful, but at the very least I felt like I deserved a "time-out" from all that! It was wonderful!!

    happy mothers day2


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 2:35 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • It's still Mother's Day....the dynamics are just a little different for you because your husband is away. I am a former military wife and my husband missed every bday, every Christmas, every Mother's day and every father's Day and every anniversary between May 1986 (when he finished his A school) until Dec. 1990 (when he was medically discharged). Our children were born in Aug. '86, Jan. '88 and Aug. '90 (plus Dec. '91 but he wasn't in the military then). He missed alot. But, it was part of the life we had. I am the child of 2 soldiers and I met & married him after he was already in the military so I knew what I was getting in to. It's hard, it has it's down times but it's life. You make your own special moments when he's home....special days for each person to make up for the other special days missed. It helps. ((((HUGS)))))

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • Thank you for the encouragement ladies. CassieRae3! I'm so happy for you! It will be a great time! Make up for lost time right?

    Answer by aebrown at 8:40 AM on May. 10, 2010

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