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My husband is pissing me off...what should Ido?

He emotionally eats. He eats good foods but when he is stressed or upset he eats lots of fast food. He will eat almost a whole pizza, a whole pan of lasagna, 4 or 5 burritos from taco bell, 8 hotgogs..2 large burgers. I mean it is bad. He does this and then he gets stomach cramps really bad. He has given himself hepatitis before from doing this and then flooding his system with laxatives for relief. He cannot stand to be uncomfortable. I lose lots of sleep when he does this bc he is up and down all night. He wakes me up complaining. But he knows that will happen when he eats like that. He knows he emotionally eats. So the doc. told him he has a gall stone now bc of this. Now he believes this has all been happening to him bc he eats meat and cheese. I told him it isn't the meat and cheese themselves. It is the fact that he will have 4 cheeseburgers. So much of that high fat food will causes this problem. He thinks it isn't how.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • OP: much he eats but that it is fatty food. So now he is going to go on a diet. But it isn't that he needs to diet. He eats great until he gets stressed out. What he needs to do is find new coping skills for stress. He says I am wrong even though he has admitted that this has been his real problem for a long time. Now he thinks that the doctors are right about him. It is just the fat food. Well, you wouldn't have that fat food if you didn't emotionally eat. And dieting won't change that. He told me fine whatever he is going to do what he wants with it. I know it is his body and he has to ultimately be the one to make the choices but like an alcoholic affects their family, an emotional eater does too. He doesn't care how it makes us all feel to have to watch it and feel the back lash from his choice. He doesn't care and it pisses me off!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • i'd probably tell him that 1) enjoy his stress meals b/c it may be his last (every time he eats them), and 2) that if he has any problems- stay on the couch b/c i am NOT losing sleep on a problem/situation that he caused himself.

    as for stress- why is he stressed? is it possible to lessen it somehow? like are you pregnant and he's worried about the upcoming stuff- bills, doctors, your delivery, etc? maybe you can show him where to get help with certain things, as well as taking him to your doctor so he can tell your DH that the preg is going fine.

    if its not pregnancy, there are other measures to lessen his stress. i cant remember the name of the book, but it had 3 questions about the stresser-- is it important now? will it be important in 10 years from now? and there was another one, but i cant remember. i'll try to look it up for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • OP: I was pregnant. I am actually waiting for a miscarrige right now. We have been in college and we graduate next week. Things have been very stressful the last few months so his eating has gotten worse. He slept all weekend because of the pain he caused himself. I have been trying to support him the best Ican but I have been having a hard time too and I can't be his mother and his wife. Not being able to depend on him and losing sleep is awful. We all get stressed I just think he has to change the way he deals with it. I have suggested joining a gym, working out would help but he won't do it. I have run out of ideas.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • OP: before pregnancy he did this stuff too. He would eat if he got bad grades, if he felt like he was stupid because someone wouldn't take him serious in class. He has just never dealt with it well. He gets aggressive when he drives too. He thought he had issues with depression but the people we saw said it wasn't that. He just has very bad coping skills for stress.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • He needs some form of therapy you being pissed at him will not help him he needs to talk to someone. he can always join a sports league or go to over eaters anon or better yet join Spark people there are groups on there for guys and anyone who just need to talk.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:11 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • I recently broke up with a guy that only eats one meal a day. That in itself isnt bad, but its his luch during work and its always greasy spoon places. He is 52 yrs old, he is thin enough, but his arteries must be so clogged b/c of the grease.I knew that was how it wil alwasys be with him, cause he has done it for years and is very stubborn. I know for myself that I am guilty of eating heavy meals, that always make me feel bad afterwards. I work full time and never brought lunch. I decided to do something different last week and I brought lunch. Tuna fish, cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes...so i got to have my meal,,,which by the way had alot of crunch in it, without over doing it. Afterwards, during the rest of my day, I felt so much better. Does he like salads, or tuna fish, fruits cut up Not only did I feel better from eating lighter, but I could really feel what junk food feels like,,,and its an awful feeling,,,good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • Emotional eating calls for emotional counseling. See if he will see what's making him do this. If not, then change what he eats. Don't buy unhealthy food. Don't have junk food in the house. He'll stop pigging out if there is only healthy food around.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:43 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like he has an eating disorder....he needs some help, really.
    luvr4ula

    Answer by luvr4ula at 4:25 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • I am an emotional eater and I never eat until I'm this sick! I think it might be a little more serious than just stress eating. Encourage him to at least speak to a doctor if not a counselor. And when he does this make it clear you are sleeping elsewhere because his actions are causing you to lose sleep. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:56 PM on May. 9, 2010

  • OP: ok...I do not treat him badly at all. I am very supportive of him. I thought this was mom group where I could turn to and vent to. I am pissed at him but i don't treat him like that. And yes you can give yourself hepatitis. There are many forms of it. It just simple means inflamed liver. Read up on it. You can do it when your liver can't process what is going into it. You can also get it from a blunt trauma to the liver.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on May. 9, 2010

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