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I don't know what to do...

Ok so my SO and I have been together almost 3 years. We have an 11 month old son.... But I'm not happy and haven't been for a long time. He was physically abusive in the past... but now he is emotionally abusive and controlling... I am a SAHM/student and he makes sure I don't have money ever.... and when I do work (babysitting) he asks me how much I made and tries to get it. I know I should just leave but I have no where to go.... but why do I feel like I'm the bad person? I feel Like I'm a horrible person for trying to leave... I've saved up some money and prob will be leaving soon but I feel like I'm going to wuss out... What is wrong with me? I love him of course (he is the father of my child) but honestly I feel like I despise him for all the pain he's caused me, he's like an immature brat. I just need encouragement ladies... my heart is broken and I can't do it anymore

Answer Question

Asked by June_Mama09 at 10:45 AM on May. 10, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • do you have any friends or family you can stay with? Emotional abuse is abuse, just the same as if he is hitting you.

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:53 AM on May. 10, 2010

  • I think thats normal but you need to think about it another way. The most important thing in your life is your child. Do you want your son to grow up with him as a role model? Your son WILL pick up on how his daddy treats you. I assume you would not want your son controlling or hitting a girlfriend or wife. The saying "kids minds are like sponges" is true and having that man around will predispose your child to the same attitudes.

    You are also scared of what will happen. Maybe that you will not have enough money and maybe that he will cause trouble. There are some things you just have to brave and take as they come. From what you say I don't see any reason to stay with this guy. "The father of my child" is not a good enough reason at all. In fact thats a good reason not to stay with him. Please think of yourself and mostly your child. He needs better role models in his life and you need a better man.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 11:02 AM on May. 10, 2010

  • The best thing a father can do for his child is love their mother.

    Get out! Leave him and don't look back. As hard as it is, if he is like this with you, how will he be with your son and any future children? You are a grown woman who doesn't need to be controlled and have money taken from her.
    Good luck and I truely hope you find the better you deserve.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on May. 10, 2010

  • You sound like a really strong woman! He is doing all that he can to make you feel like you would be the "bad one" for leaving. You are doing the right thing for you and your child to leave. There are people who can help, women's centers etc. Find the resources in your area and get help for yourself. Stick to your guns and GET OUT! You do not want your son to see that role model, or he will grow up and treat his wife the same way. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 1:33 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • The sooner you leave, the better!

    Answer by delta27 at 1:43 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:43 PM on May. 10, 2010

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