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How do you deal with a critical friend?

My roomate/friend is constantly telling me to pull down my shirts, pull down my skirts cuz they're "too high", wear longer dresses. She tells me some of my shoes look slutty (like Jessica Simpson pumps). She drops hints and remarks that I've gained weight or have flabby arms. She is taller than me but weighs 230+ lbs and I am in the small/size 4 category. I never talk about her weight and always flatter her so I don't understand why she does this to me cuz we're supposed to be friends. I don't know how to approach her about this without her getting defensive or it turning into me pointing out her own issues. It's getting worse with time. Every time I date someone new she says things like, "He only like you cuz you're blowing him off" or "He only likes you cuz of you're body". It's really starting to get to me and make me depressed. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on May. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Tell her to shut the hell up and mind her business lol Sorry but this would really irritate the crap out of me. Sounds like she may be a little resentful of you, which is HER problem not yours. If you don't want to be so rude about it, then just calmly explain that it upsets you how with how judgmental she can be.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 3:23 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • I have had friends like that. their jealous. It starts w/ compliments all the time till they are annoying. Then it switches to critisum. Now I spot them before I get too close to them and I cut off the friendship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • In my experience IT IS NOT WORTH IT TO HAVE A 'FRIEND' LIKE THIS. I used to be the doormat type, I would do anything for my friends without expecting much in return. Well after I had a kid and got older, I realized it is no good to have friends like this. If they contribute more negative than positive, they can show themselves the door! It is definitely freeing to get rid of these people.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 3:28 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • I would say she's jealous or threatened by you because she's dissatisfied with herself. That's really unfortunate. It puts you in a bad position, because if you try to say anything, than you're the mean pretty girl picking on the ugly girl. But I think you have to if there is ever a chance of being friends. Try to use "me" statements instead of "you" statements. Like just tell her it hurts your feelings when.... and makes you feel distant from her. Let her know she's your friendship with her is important to you, but you feel like getting away from her when she's like that. If she gets defensive, start looking for another apartment. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 3:38 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Are you seriously friends with this girl?! She clearly has many issues, is jealous and tells you these things to make herself feel better. It's about her insecurities not anything about you. I would move out and find a new friend!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • she isnt your friend. and if she is overweight and u r not then i would say with certainty she has a big case of jealously. find a new roommate asap. find a new friend even sooner. good luck. u deserve better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on May. 11, 2010

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