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Consumed in bitterness...

I am pregnant with a married man's child. He doesn't want anything to do with the baby or myself. Yes, his wife knows about the countless woman he has cheated on her with. I don't know if she just choose's to belive his lies or live in denial. I don't really care. I find it harder eachday to be happy. I cry for myself, the situation and my poor innocent fatherless child. I have many family and friends but they are even turned off by my depression. Counseling and antidepressants don't work. Please don't judge me becasue I already feel like s@*t. I would just really apperciate some encourage remarks from people who have gone from being angry to being bitter in a hopeless situation. Thanks. P.S No e wasn't married when I dated him.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on May. 10, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I know it's hard now. I know it's really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel - literally - the moment your child is born your heart belongs to that child. The baby needs mommy, you can worry about finding a father figure/daddy later. I mean seriously. think of all of the countless mommies out there where the father wasnt ever in the picture and they are now hppily married and their child has a father..later down the road...it will take time like all good things in life. Life is rarely perfect. You aren't doing any justice by being so sad and thinking so deeply on the matter. Right now you have to focus on finding the happiness in this situation - a new life you have growing inside of you - looking forward to being a mother and NO you absolutely don't need the father to be there to do it!! I promise.
    threeeunder3

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 10:04 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Honey it's a choice. You have to choose to move past this and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is what it is. There isn't anything you can do about it. You can't undo what has been done, so rather then live in the past and wallow in self pity............look to the future and the fact that you have a child who is going to depend on you whether you are ready or not.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 9:59 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • You can do it!! Your baby will bring so much joy to your life!! I would talk to a doctor or try therapy again after the baby is born, but just try to make the best of it and enjoy your new baby!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:00 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • All I can is go after that dead beat and get child support. Maybe after the DNA test proves he's the daddy he's wife won't live in denial anymore and you get some help on rasing your buddle of joy. You can do it mama, I promise. I suffer from major depression but I just take it day by day. It will get better I promise. Don't think about what this dumbass did to you think about the gift he gave to you and how wonderful its going to be, to be a mommy. Good Luck MAMA
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:04 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Just live your life without him but remember you will have a baby soon at that baby will love you so much that you are not even going to think about the jerk and when he comes around to see the baby don't let him atleast until you say it's ok. You call the shots now. GL you'll get through this. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Forget the things you cannot change and focus on what you can...focus on that baby and how much you are going to love him or her. Make the best of the situation and things will look up. i know it's easier said than done, but you can do it. You'll have too, that baby is gonna need you mama. Good luck. Things will be fine.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • If he wasn't married when he got you pregnant then she hasn't been married to him long which means he didn't cheat on her. He was just a single man sewing his oats before he settled down. So she can't be in denial over what happened in the past. Just sign up for child support and learn to use birth control. There are many single moms in the world. You will be fine and quit taking antidepressants while pregnant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • I cannot say much more than what these women have already told you. You just have to woman up and be strong for your child and please do not let him talk you out of getting him for child support. As well if he is married you really need to cut it off. It seems like you still have a thing for him. Don't let him play you, as long as he is married leave him alone, but make him pay for his child.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 10:16 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • If you want the truth, you listen to these ladies. You need to move on. This is rough, especially while pregnant. You can do it though. Your child will not know his useless father and who wants a Dad that isn't interested? You will be a great Mom! And you'll find your own guy down the road that will love you both. You deserve as much. Don't let that be your focus. Focus on this kid and your own happiness. Mourn the loss of this man like any other relationship that ends and fight like hell to move on.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:22 PM on May. 10, 2010

  • Well, I can relate in the fact that I too, was pregnant, and bringing a child into an already broken home. My DH decided when I was pregnant that he wanted to be a bachelor. So I moved out. I know exactly how you are feeling right now (minus the other woman) There really is light at the end of the tunnel. For me, God pulled me out of the darkest despair I had ever known. It was Him that got me through it. It was still hard, I still suffered from depression, but it was then that I developed a close personal relationship with him, and grew to know him personally. I had been a Christian my whole life. When you have no one else to turn to, God is always there. He is the only man I needed. He brings me peace and joy like no other. Have you tried church?
    Feel free to PM me anytime. Bless you mama. It will be ok, you will find happiness, and your joy will be that much brighter because you have been so low. In love.....
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:55 PM on May. 10, 2010

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