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how can I stop my 6 year old from whining about everything?

My daughter is 6 years old & lately has been acting as if she's 2. She whines about everything, won't take no for an answer & is refusung to do regular everyday things she normally does. She has always been a little whiny & stubborn but has gotten so much worse over the last few months. I need solutions! I have 2 older boys also & we are all going crazy with her. I told her that it's much happier around the house if we all get along. If she's whiny, nobody wants to be around her & she just gets herself in trouble. We are a family and all need to do our part to help out so we can get through each day. Please help! Thanks in advance ;)

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Asked by babeelove at 8:36 AM on May. 11, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • I wish I knew.... going through the same thing here with a 6yo and an 11yo (who is budding, so I think hers is hormonal). I wish I knew what to do!! It is SO annoying at home, but it is embarrassingevery where else!! We'll be out somewhere and someone will try to do something nice, and they'll whine and complain like what ever it was wasn't good enough! Then the other adults cut me ugly looks like I'm the one teaching them to be pompous.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat....I'm hoping that it's a phase but it's lasted 2 years now and I'm not sure how to make it stop. Good luck!!!

    Answer by drpepper73 at 8:45 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • LOL that sounds JUST like my household! I hope you get some answers because I'll be looking too! My DD is turning 6 soon, and for the past few months she's been whining like crazy. It starts in the morning when she gets up, and goes through the day. She has good times, like when we go out to the park, when we watch movies together, or when she's helping me with cooking (which she loves), but if we're not doing something she loves, then she is SO whiny. We've just started enforcing a new rule, if she whines she has to go lay down in a quiet room for 10 minutes with no getting up and no talking. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If she talks or gets up or whines while she's having to lay down, she gets another 10 minutes on top of it. Normally she's tired and within that ten minutes, she falls asleep. We are working on moving bedtime from 9 to 8:30 so she gets a little more sleep.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 11:20 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • you need to start standing your ground and having definate boundaries/consequences. it sucks but i think between this time of year and that age...they are all pushing the limits.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 1:37 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I tell my 5 1/2 yr old that I do not speak whine. If she's not ready to talk like the big girl she is, I simply can't listen. We've also started a chart. If she whines, it's a mark on the chart. IF she goes a day without whining or other 'baby behaviors" she had previously outgrown, she gets a smile face. If she gets 5 marks in a row she loses a big kid privilege until she can get 5 smiles in a row. One smile, however, can erase 1-4 marks earned the previous day. (It's hard to explain.) This has cut back a lot on the whining. ;)

    My DD will attempt to not take no for an answer. Too bad for her though that I'm even more stubborn than she is. ;) When I say no and she attempts to stand firm for a yes, I remind her that I am more practiced at being stubborn and I will win the battle of wills. She can do it my way the easy way or my way the hard way. The hard way involves loss of privilege. (cont)

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:48 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I have pointed out to her several times that even if I would have been so inclined to change my mind about a particular subject, I certainly will not ever do so if she's whining and acting bratty. My kids know that I'm open minded enough to hear them out IF they can present their case in a respectful way. If, for example, DD asks to stay up an extra 1/2 hr I am likely to say no. However, she has sometimes followed that up with a reasonable explanation like, "I was asking because we're building a Lego town and I wanted to help him finish it. I will brush my teeth now so I can go to bed as soon as it's time." THAT I will hear out and consider. For something like that I might change my mind and let her stay up. On the nights, however, when she whines "No fair! I want to stay up. Please! It's not fair HE's staying up. I didn't get enough time...." Well then it's off to bed...

    Answer by ldmrmom at 2:51 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • As soon as he starts whining I ask in a silly way if he hears that squeaking noise then he'll answer and I'll quickly say it again...ohhh do you hear that squeaking noise. He gets so mad but then I tell him i will talk to him when he can talk like a big boy.

    Totally works!!

    Answer by choco_mom at 3:01 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • We had a problem with Kiwi a while back with the whining, and just told her I don't understand "whiny voice" and since she's a big girl, fully capable of using the "real big girl voice", that's all I'm going to listen to. We took away a couple of her "big girl" privileges (her tv in her room became off limits, gave her an earlier bed time, cut allowance) and told her she could get them back when she acted like a big girl. I figure if my kid is going to act like she's an undisciplined two year old, she can have the same privileges as one, and if she can act like the well behaved 5 year old I know she is, she can be treated as such. It worked, she got her stuff back after less than a week, and haven't had a problem since.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 1:28 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Thank you all for the advice. I hope it's helped some of you other Moms with the same problem. Thanks for sharing! At least I know that it must be pretty normal at her age since other people are having the same problem. The thing is.....she doesn't get away with anything, so I don't know why she even tries. There are 3 kids in this house so my husband & I are out-numbered! Therefore, we are pretty strict or else they would take over! I think some of it may be that she is tired. Her bedtime is 7:30 but she's in school from 7:30 am to 3:30pm. That's a long day for a 6-yr-old. Plus she plays Tball and misses her bedtime when she has games. But could it really be that simple??

    Answer by babeelove at 2:14 PM on May. 12, 2010

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