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How can I get over the fact that my son's father left me while I was pregnant and things didnt work between us?


I loved this man with all my heart. We were supposed to be married a little bit after my son was born . Nothing happened like it was supposed to. I was very dissapointed and depressed. I ended up taking him to child support court he didnt want to support the child we conceived in love. He has been in and out of his son's life ever since he was born. At one point he was highly upset because he was taken for child support and would go month without seeing our son. Now he is starting to come around again more and I kinda feel nostalgic . I know he has one me wrong but we were young and I dont know if I ever come to terms with him leaving me. I let him go, I never pursued him afer he left me while pregnant, but what could I do to make him see what he is missing as a family. I really love this man. We are both 25.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on May. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Just realize what a big a-hole he really is and that he's not worth your tears. I know it's difficult, but why would you want to be with someone who puts you through such agony while you're about to have his child? That's not a good man right there.
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 11:12 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • May I suggest reading this book, Breaking up without breaking down, it will help you deal with this, you can find it at Amazon.com, or go to the website with the same name as the book, only add .com, good luck!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:14 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • You can't make him see anything he doesn't want to see. Time will show him how great his son is or how much he's missing if he doesn't stay close to his son. It's all up to him but I wouldn't waste time on him. I'd cut him loose emotionally and find a decent guy who returns your love and shows you respect. You will always be stuck looking back if you don't cut him loose and look forward. Don't let him control your life like that. Your son deserves a happy mom who is loved by someone great not someone who walks out
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:14 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • You were both young, and you did what you needed too do. I was there, and it is very sad, and hurts sooo much but you can forgive him, and forgive your self.

    He needs to realize himself you can't help him realize, set boundries and make sure he is responsible. Don't give him loving unless your together. It is so hard but trust me time makes it easier.

    In my case we never got back together, he has not seen his kids in 10 years, and he said he will see me in court, 6 years ago but never tried to see them. They have a wonderful father, and need no more. He is their dad and loves him more then there own father would. Good luck, if you need to talk I am here. :)
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:20 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • OMG..I just posted "wow this is huge.." I am in the EXACT same situation! well except I didnt get him for child support and hes coming back to me. But I know how you feel! I was upset that we werent together when I was pregnant. We could have been. But the way things were going it was bad. We needed the time away from each other to learn and grow as individuals. Now we still have feelings for each other and want to be with each other. BUT...he's married! Yeah..wtf. but he was ready to settle down and i wasnt ready to give up my bf. then 2 weeks later i fond out hes gettn married. broke my heart! Anyways....I think that if you let him come around....he WILL see what he is missing. Tell him cute things about your baby and keep him updated with pics...trust me, he will come back. It worked for me :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • I could have written your post! My ex left me when I was 4 months pregnant with our DD. The pain was more than anyone should have to endure. But, as time went on, and I saw what a POS he was when he failed to see, or make any contact with or DD, I healed. I moved on. It took a while, but when you're hurt to your very inner core, it's only feesible to take quite a bit of time to completely let go. He comes around now, and I let him take our DD for overnight visits (she's almost 2), and I don't let myself get nostalgic. He left me alone, and pregnant. What kind of MAN does that? He had little to no contact with the only good thing in his life for almost 2 years, what kind of FATHER does that? Not a very good one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on May. 11, 2010

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