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angry daughter

How do I teach my 12 yr old to stop being so angry at people who don't like her? Someone told her,to her face that "I hate you you suck dont come around me ever.My daughter didnt do a thing for this girl to be like that so I'm naturally not to happy cause now she wont go to church cause this girl and her friends are thier. I've tried giving her the talk about being classy and ladylike, and forgiving those who despise her,and to reach out to those that are alone like her.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on May. 11, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • It is difficult my daughter has been picked on for years, and she thinks that is the way she should be treated. It is hard work to get their confidence up. This year was very bad they beat her up. I tell her often, no one should treat you that way, no one has a right to talk to you like that, no one has the right to touch your stuff. My daughter has been a matt the sad part is putting all the peaces together made me realize she was being bullied. She walked around smiling and being polite to all kids, yet they bad mouth her and say they hate her, they treat her like a clown. I am moving but because I can get out, I am renting, and my owner agreed for my self to get out of the lease. She is moving to diffrent area, and all summer I will work on her confidence. I hope I can get her to where she can be, she is beautiful, smart and very artistic.
    Remind her of her talents, and work hard to help her. Don't give up it is fustratin
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • continued:

    oh, tell her not everyone will like you which is normal. It is ok to be angry but tell her to direct it in another way, write in a note book. Let her no not everyone likes you, and that is a part of life. Teens can be cruel. Don't force her to go some where she is not comfortable it could get worst or have her invite one of her friends and tell her to stay away from them.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think your daughter should confront them infront of the entire church and show what kind of person she is....
    TwistofCain

    Answer by TwistofCain at 11:49 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • Wow does this bring back memories, of my own t'ween years. I would talk to the school principal and see what he has to say. If he's unresponsive, take it to the school board and further if need be. I know it's a fact of life, that we all get our lumps, but being forced into a ritual (school) where this is proven to happen is not condusive to learning. There's an old saying ...."what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" and to some degree, it's true if only for the sole purpose that we know to get out of the way of a fast moving freight train. Much has changed since I was young and bullies back then did'nt have guns or knives and still thought they could get away with it and did'nt have the "dead men tell no tales" mindset. If need be, move the hell away from there.......... screw your job, your most precious asset is in danger!
    GMMOLLY

    Answer by GMMOLLY at 11:58 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • I would share my own experiences with her and relate. She needs to be told that people can feel anyway they want for no good reason at all. She can feel angry in the moment but she shouldn't feel the need to enternalize it to the point where she can't move forward. i wouldn't really want her to be around them much anyway at that point because it's just not fair to her.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 2:26 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Since this is happening at Church, why can't it be corrected? Christians are an example to the world and if this is what we're promoting in Church, its no wonder why our children look at the outside world and do not see a difference between Christians and sinners. I would speak with the Pastor and see if we could be done to stop this.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:09 PM on May. 12, 2010

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