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Am I wrong for turning my back on him, He can't hold on to a job? I feel like I am BEING SELFISH?

He can't hold on to a job for more than 2 months, He has 2 felony charges and refuses to work for minimum wage, I don't understand why he feels ENTITLED to a "good" paying job when his education level is a G.E.D.

Am I wrong for being tired of hearing him complain and moan on how "hard" it is for him to find employment

Am I being Selfish

I would NOT have a problem with this if he was willing to work 2 dead end job, (many people I know who don't have an education beyond H.S. or have a record will work 2-3 dead end jobs to make ends meet) But he is not willing to do that he wants a "GOOD" job with descent pay, why does he feel that working at a fast-food place is beneath him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on May. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If you're not married, then dump him. What kind of future is that?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on May. 11, 2010

  • That would be a deal breaker for me.

    The two felonies would have been a deal breaker for me in the first place.

    It is more than money... it is about pride, self respect, being a 'man'. What kind of man cant hold on to a job? It makes me think there must be a HUGE personality issue for him to loose job after job after job. Besides that where is the security. If he can not do something as simple as keep a job (if this is due to his issues and not the economy) than how could I ever have faith that he would be there for me if there was ever an emergency. He is unreliable and therefore a VERY POOR choice to have in my life.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • No, you are not selfish! You are smart!! I have BTDT with too many dead beats!! I won't tolerate it any more and I don't recommend any Mom to settle for some one that can't at least pull their own weight!


    Answer by VeronicaLee at 12:01 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • No, you are not being selfish.

    You work where ever you can, and I don't look down on anyone.

    Do what is right for you!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:02 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • You dont need to feel guilty for wanting more and expecting more out of life. I understood why my husband was the way he was and I felt guilty as well for leaving but it was the best decision I have ever made. You have to have standards and sometimes we dont realize what it takes in life or our heart gets in the way and we make a poor choice and end up with someone we shouldnt be with. You should not feel guilty for wanting better in life!! It doesnt make you heartless, it doesnt make you mean, it mwans you guys want different things out of life. It means you want to move forward and he wants to stand still. You dont have to give him al the reasons just tell him you want different stuff in life that you have grown apart and move on. It sounds like he is holding you back.

    Answer by ria7 at 12:03 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Don't put up with BS, Mama... I'll never understand why people will refuse to work for min wage when they NEED A JOB. I don't get it, but whatever. My DH was the same way. I finally told him to man up, get a job, or get out.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 12:10 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Sounds like he is just making excuses to not work

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 12:12 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Because he is a lazy bum! It is much easier for him to sit on his behind and whine about not finding a "good" (read high salary) job than it is to bust his ass working at whatever job would hire him. It sounds like he does NOT want to work, or he would take any type of job that he could find. Although if he does not have a good education (and with his felonies) then how the hell does he think he is going to get a 'good' (high salary) job? He needs to look for work that are within his means and what jobs will actually hire him and not hold out for the impossible!
    If it were me, I'd dump his sorry ass. If you stay with him this will be an on-going issue and you will end up supporting him for the duration of the relationship, as he cannot seem to keep a job and he does not seem to have a very good work history.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:17 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • He's showing you that he can not be a dependable, contributing person in your relationship, so why hold on to him?

    I remember my ex being the same way..(although he didn't have felonies)...he couldn't hold a job for more than 2 months. He didn't want to work hard and he could careless about helping to provide for his family. Every night that he came home from work, I would wait for him to tell me that he quit or got fired. It became too exhausting for me to depend on him - so because of that and other factors, I had to let him go...

    I realized that I wanted better for myself because staying with someone who had no goals, priorities or desires for a future was only holding me back from true happiness...hope you make the best decision for yourself...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:47 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Is this a boyfriend? Husband?

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 4:08 PM on May. 11, 2010

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