Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do grandparents have rights to spoil your child however they choose?

I was just talking to my mom about this and I personally do not think it's okay to "spoil" however you want because you're a grandparent and that's "your job." I think you need to respect the parents' wishes.

Tons of candy.
Up until 1 am.
All the toys the kids want.
Eat whatever they want whenever they want.
Watch any movies or shows.

Answer Question

Asked by Sara.Robyson at 12:50 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 15 (1,854 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • As a grandmother of nine, I agree. Respect of the parent's decisions is important

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:52 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think it's fine unless they are totally overstepping some of your rules. Not just piddly rules, but important ones. Those are the joys of seeing your grandparents. But maybe I feel this way because I am in a different state as my parents, so it doesn't happen often for my kids.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 12:53 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think to some extent, grandparents are supposed to spoil kids a little. Your list, on the other hand, is over the top.

    Answer by SWasson at 12:54 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • If they only see the child occasionally, then yes, spoil away. If they watch the kid daily then they need to stick with parental rules.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:55 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Yes, I do feel its ok, because its a) not everyday, b) special time with grandparents and c) makes for warm childhood memories for your kids when they get older. But, please understand, this is coming from someone whose kids only have 1 grandpa who isn't able to spoil the kids, or even babysit for them....I wish wish wish my mom and Dh's parent's were still alive to love and spoil and care for our children. It is a huge void in our lives not having them here. I do understand the frustration you may feel, but in the big picture its really not a big deal at all....none of those things you mentioned are that bad for kids once in a while....the biggest issuse I have is the last one, I would definitely put my foot down on inappropriate movies/shows, but that's it.

    Answer by gramsmom at 12:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • IF my kids had any grandparents at all... I would let them spoil my kids rotten! BUT, I guess I just feel that way since my kids have no one to do anything like that for them.

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 12:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think they can spoil as they please unless the parents ask them to do otherwise. If you say no to something then the answer should be no. Also I think it is the same with discipline. They should not discipline for things they think are wrong if you as a parent let the child do those things and vice versa.

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 12:58 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think it's fine to spoil them, as long as they don't let them 'run wild' so to speak. My son is NOT allowed to hit, or rough house on furniture. That's the main thing I have asked for backup on. And all of ds's grandparents respect that.

    Answer by momma_marian at 1:05 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I guess the thing is that most parents are okay with it and I am also, to a point. I just think if the parents say please don't let my kid eat anything red or sit on the chair on the left, the grandparents should respect it however crazy it sounds. That's just me though.

    Answer by Sara.Robyson at 1:08 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Yeah...I think its thier right,lol.
    I think its sweet. But its not like my kids see thier grandparents very often when they do it is a special treat and they love they attention and I love seeing them so happy.
    Its not like they get tons of candy at home so once in awhile treat at grammas is no biggy to me.
    My grandparents spoiled me rotten when I was a kid..those are some of my most treasured memories.
    I plan on spoiling my grand kids when I have some...which hopefully isnt for a LONNNNNGGG ways off,lol.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:23 PM on May. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.