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Venting caregiver

So, I babysit for this three year old little boy. I have been working with him, potty training since at least November of last year. He doesn't tell me that he has to go - I just ask him and put him on the potty and he goes. He comes around 7:00 in the morning and leaves around 5:00. If he doesn't arrive wet, that is his only accident from 7:00 to 5:00. I put him in regular underwear this week. His parents attempted to do the same last night (his only waking hours with them is from 5:00 to 9:00). He had an accident yesterday after he left and they have given up on the underwear. We had discussed the story that the character on his underwear would be really sad if he got wet. And the child was happy he got him wet.I am so frustrated because he should be trained by now - he's not having accidents for the ENTIRE day here - I know he's not my child, but I feel it takes both of us to work and they just don't seem concerned.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • i agree, he's just going to get confused if his parents aren't on the same page with need to talk to them and see what they think

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I now it can be frustrating but you really can't "make" his parents follow through with your matter how good of an idea it may be. Just know that he won't pee his pants for forever and eventually he will get the hang of it and be completely potty trained. Youre efforts are not going in vain, I'm sure. I had a little boy too that I was potty training and his mom openly told me that at home, she still put diapers on him. Soon as he got to my house, we took the diaper off, replaced with underpants and he had not one accident all day. I think when HE was finallay confident enough in himself and the potty training, he just started staying dry on his own at home as well and would take the diaper off to go to the bathroom. Sometimes the kids are ready before the parents...

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I agree with pp-- you should sit the parents down and talk to them and both be on the same page (so to speak) with potty training. Maybe ask them how they do it at home, or say "this is what I have been doing"  so you can keep the pottytraining consistent.  Good luck!


    Answer by MizLee at 2:58 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I have talked to them. They don't do anything against his wishes. He won't sit at the dinner table - even though he has cleaned his plate both breakfast and lunch at my house since he was six months old. They have brought the DVD player to the dinner table and told me about it and I told them that I didn't think that was a good idea - and they said that they knew I was going to say that. They say they want more quality time with him - yet they continue to do all the activities they did before they had children after they pick him up from me - thus putting him in another babysitters hands. He's even napping in underwear here - and that's the sure sign that a child is ready to get rid of diapers is if they wake up dry from their naps, right? All this and they are trying to have another child. They say he wakes up at 6:30 in the morning. I don't see how he gets everything done in 30 minutes before he gets to my house!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Ask for more money or tell them to do their job.

    Answer by forevermom75 at 3:27 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • "We'll do our best. I'm not making any guarantees, nor am I throwing away the diapers yet. I am anticipating washing a lot of peed-in underwear. Studies have shown that when you rush them, it just takes longer in the long run. What I would have wished for is for him to be able to verbalize that he has to go. He can tell us now when he's gone, which is an intermediate step."

    Was her response to my we need to work together on this. I don't think seven months is rushing it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • No, this is the whole problem with the child-led approach... some kids never lead the way, and then you have a stubborn 3 year-old boy who doesn't mind sitting in filth... It's not natural. Kids need help learning to use the potty, and I think from a much younger age... they need consistency and clear expectation (expectations, not whatever-pleases-you-dear). But what can you do? It's not just his parents, this is a commonly upheld myth about potty training these days... And, as those parents say themselves, he won't go to kindergarten in a diaper (um, no, because he CAN'T). Good luck to you, I feel your frustration, and I only have to listen to this perspective from friends and acquaintances!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on May. 11, 2010


    I'm sorry, but if your child is still in diapers at the age of 7, then it's time to force the issue.

    This, of course, is assuming that the child doesn't have any developmental issues.

    Answer by makelineerror at 8:10 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • By the way, it would be pointless to add to that discussion. The girl is at least 16 now.

    Answer by makelineerror at 8:14 PM on May. 11, 2010

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