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How would you handle a mother inlaw like this? I am just so annoyed with her.

I frequently have to hide my laundry because I don't want her taking it. She often ruins my clothes or doesn't bring things back for a few days. So today she came over and couldn't find any laundry, so she snuck a pair of my white capri's out of the clean laundry basket. I don't want them bleached or put into a dryer because they will shrink. I know she plans on bleaching them because she's a bleach fanantic.

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staceynoel

Asked by staceynoel at 3:32 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • why is she taking your laundry/clothing??? lol
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 3:34 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • to wash them, she's been doing this for years and I've tried to tell her that she doens't have to do it, but she does it anyways, so I just hide my laundry
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:38 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Tell her to STOP. Tell her that it would be more helpful if she taught YOU how to do it instead of her always doing it for you. She is probably trying to help but she needs to respect that it's your laundry. If you ask for her help then maybe she'll give you a lesson (her way) then leave you alone. You can take or ignore her advice but it's better than hiding your laundry!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:41 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • admckenzie,,,,,,,,,,,I know how to do laundry and she know that. She takes my laundry because she says that she doesn't have much laudry to fill up her washer. I think she takes it so that she has an excuse as to why she can come over whenever she wants.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:46 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • My MIL also does my laundry when she comes over. Then she's all proud of herself "I did your laundry and it's folded on your bed!" I'm supposed to thank her. I hate when she does it. I just ignore her. I don't want anyone touching my underwear! When we go on vacation with her she always asks if I have any laundry because she doesn't have a full load. I always say no. I like to do my own laundry. I think it's so gross to mix it.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:49 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with her. First, if you might want to talk to your dh before you do though, let him know what's going on. Firmly tell her you don't want her to do your laundry anymore, or take it, you don't find it respectful when she does your laundry, and even more disrepected when she steals your laundry. Tell her, you don't mind her coming over, sometimes, but doing chores for you has to stop, otherwise, she will not be invited in when it's just you and her (ya, the last part might be harsh, but that is what i'd do.) Best of luck!
    madamlinwe

    Answer by madamlinwe at 3:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Tell her to stop and block the door from opening so she can't get into it. Or put a sensor on it and confront her when she does it. I also would not let her just drop ins. She needs to know that you want her to just visit and not pry. If she doesn't have enough to do a whole load then she should just wait another day or two until she does or do a small load.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 4:05 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Wait a sec.. She does not live in your home and you do not live in hers right? She comes over to YOUR house and takes YOUR laundry? I would not tell her that she "doesn't have to" do your laundry, I would tell her that she absolutely may NOT do your laundry.. If she took your laundry when you weren't home, does that mean that she just walked into your house while you were away and took it? That she actually roots through your clean clothes too? What else is she rumaging through? Your nightstand? Your dresser?
    Change the locks, tell her to keep her paws off your personal items, and insist that your husband tells her to knock it off too..
    IMO
    Mad_Hexer

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 4:19 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Mad Hexer,,,,,,,yes she does go through my nightstand, dresser and junk draw. She says she's helping me by cleaning them out, I always tell her that I will take care of it, but she does it anyways. She also cleans out my childrens draws and closets, which upsets my teenagers. I frequently tell her to let them do it, but again she does it anyways. I really want my children to clean their own rooms and learn how to do laundry, but the never get a chance because their grandmother does it all the time.
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 4:29 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • OK, I get that.. What I don't get is why are you allowing it? She goes through your personal items AND your children's.. Maybe 'cleaning up' is just her excuse for snooping through your things.. This is a control issue and you are giving her the power..
    Telling her that she doesn't have to do it, kind of gives the impression that you don't mind if she does.. Telling her to stay the f*ck out of your house when you are not at home is a little more to the point..
    Bounderies, bounderies, bounderies..
    What does your husband say about all this?
    Mad_Hexer

    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 5:03 PM on May. 11, 2010

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