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17 year old had party with alcohol in my house!!!!!

I have a 17 year old. He will be 18 in a couple of weeks. On Saturday night he asked to have a birthday party, at my house. I agreed to this with the stipulations that I would be home and there would be NO alcohol in my house. We have a finished room in basement and this is where they spent their time. Late into the night I went down to see if they needed anything, to find some of them drunk. They had snuck alcohol into my house. HELP, I have no idea what type of punishment is needed in this situation. He is a good kid, and to my knowledge he has never done anything like this. This is almost an 18 year old man but he lives in my house. My husband wants to take away ALL driving privileges on our vehicles. What type of grounding do you think is worthy of this??

 
redrose2_21

Asked by redrose2_21 at 7:01 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Talk to him or have a police officer talk to him about how much trouble YOU will be in if his little party is busted. The PARENT is responsible for underage drinkers (and that is anyone under 21, not 18). In Wisconsin, the parent can be fined $500 for every underage drinker, lose their homes because they are sued because one of those intoxicated kids, drives, gets in an accident and kills someone or themselves. Taking away all driving priveleges would be a start of his punishment. He would be grounded until his 18th birthday, be doing extra chores. He would be talking to someone who has experienced a death from a drunk driver. I would be scaring the crap out of him. What happened would have affected YOU more than him. YOU are the homeowner. Check your local laws about the responsibility the parents would have for underage drinking parties.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • First of all, regardless of his age, he still lives at home and has to abide by your rules. I don't know if I would go so far as to take him off your vehicles, but I would def ground him.
    rlhall1980

    Answer by rlhall1980 at 7:03 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • talk to him about it and take the car,he will hate it,especially if thats his only way of getting around
    mommy16love

    Answer by mommy16love at 7:03 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I agree with DH. Take away the driving privileges for a while.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 7:03 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think that he'll learn more from it if you sit down and have a heart to heart. Let him know that you aren't mad at him, you are just extremely disappointed in his choice. Sometimes it is hard for grown-ups to stand up to their friends... imagine being a teenager. It might have not been him who snuck it in, but if he knew (which I am sure he did), then he might have had a hard time telling his friends no. I would have him do chores, instead of just taking things away. Set a list of what needs to be done, and when it's done, he can have driving privileges back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I would be more worried about the other kids' parents finding out. You could have been held legally responsible if anything had happened to the other kids, simply because they were in your house. As for punishment, I'm not sure...my oldest is 8 months old and I've yet to deal with things like this.
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 7:05 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think taking away the car is a good start. I also agree that a good talk is in order. He needs to know that he is almost an adult and in the adult world there are real consequences to your actions.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:18 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • Most teens this age want to be independent so taking away driving priveleges is a good idea. He needs to understand the legal consequences of what could have taken place. He needs to understand that every choice he makes as an adult is gonna have consequences good or bad. Being an adult is being able to take ownership for ones own actions.
    mimi210

    Answer by mimi210 at 1:57 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • He's an 18yo who lives in your home and who I presume is still in high school for at least the next few weeks. He's not a man, he's 18. I have an 18yo and a 19yo, both are Seniors, and you better bet they still get grounded. If they are mouthy, if they don't follow the rules, etc.. They are under PUR rules until the one goes to basic training and the other leaves for college (in july and August). Until then, we STILL get the right to ground them. When they have parties we are present...it's our house and it's a small house. The play XBox and board games, eat pizza and listen to music. If you pay for ANYTHING of your son's (cell, car insurance, car payment...whatever) you HAVE the right to ground him. He's UNDER 21....and he's in yoru house. And you were home. Guess who THAT makes liable if a parent finds out???? YOU!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • OUR not pur
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 12, 2010