After the trust between you and you significant other is broken more than once and you struggle to work through issues everyday, the person has shown they've changed .... How have you gone about rebuilding the trust? How do you ever truly forgive him without ever showing insecurities again about those issues without pushing that person away? Do u ever truly forgive and forget and move on? Going through this with DH. I try and try to work on myself and my issues but it's so easy to fall off the wagon and I end up causing problems between us for no reason. We've been through counseling already , I need to know how to cope, any advice?
Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Relationships
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't fix something. I'm not trying to tell you that your relationship is a lost cause, please don't take it that way. I'm just saying that if you are holding onto something that much, there has to be a reason for it. You said you did counseling already. I don't think it really helped you, because you still can't cope with this. You can't love someone that you can't trust. Do you trust him? If you still question what he is really doing when he is gone, then maybe it's time to take a hard look at your relationship. Talk to him about this. Tell him how you are feeling. If that doesn't work, and you have tried everything else, then maybe it's time to move on.
Answer by Punky_1981 at 2:05 PM on May. 12, 2010
Not really. You will feel more insecure the more you hold in your feelings. I could not handle it anymore & decided i had to leave about two ywars after i found out he had cheated. I tried to fix it, but I was not going to be in a marriage where i felt i could not trust him. I thought the trust would come back, i thought i would get stronger, but the longer i stayed with him...the crappier i felt. I was just always paranoid, I always felt like crap, i always felt like there was someone else. I never properly healed until he was out of my life. BUT, this is my experience. I will never forgive a cheater ever again. Just one time is a deal breaker. I will never put up with it again. And TRUST me when i say...once a cheater,,,ALWAYS a cheater. They just learn how to get better at keeping it secret....
Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on May. 11, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on May. 11, 2010