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Quitting his job to work on our marriage.. what do you say?

Now, don't be confused... he isn't going to be jobless! But he is working full time and part time right now (64 hours per week, 24 of those at night, 40 retail with an unpredictable schedule). Hubby has a history of being emotionally abusive to me and yesterday was the last straw. We discussed separating. He knows he does it. He doesn't like that he does it, but he does. He has anger and resentment issues from being emotionally abused by his mother and many MANY other childhood issues to work through. He doesn't want to be this way for our son's example, and I won't give up without a fight. So we decided that he would quit his retail job and work for a friend who keep begging him to work for him that will have more reliable and flexible hours. HE NEEDS THERAPY and needs a consistent schedule. If it digs into our proverbial wallet for him to stop being abusive, so be it. we know God will take care of us!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on May. 11, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (7)
  • I think that's a good idea. He will still have the part time plus working more flexible hours. Maybe you could look into to some educational or job options yourself. I mean, if things don't work out you'll need personal income anyway so you can look at it as taking care of yourself too. But regardless, I think its great you guys are going the counseling route. He certainly needs personal counseling. Don't get sucked into any kind of anger management, though. it doesn't work for relationships. good luck! hope you two work it out!

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 8:53 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • whatever works for your family. his issues may be his, but because he is attached to you/family, its your issue, as well. i agree with mrspulley..personal counseling is needed, not just a job change. perhaps less job-related responsibility may help in alleviate his stress-triggers. hopefully. good luck!

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:57 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I think that is a good idea to seek personal counseling to help him deal with his stress. That is wonderful that he is cutting back on working to work on being a better member of your family. The childhood issues can be addressed with a therapist and they can help him cope much better than him doing it alone. Good luck to you and yours.

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:30 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • One word.."Hallelujah!" I applaud you both for not giving up! I also applaud him for wanting to do what is right. I will keep you both in my prayers, and may I suggest reading the husband and wives verses of the bible. Blessings..


    Answer by Daphna28 at 10:12 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I hope the therapy works out for him.

    Since you're asking this in religion, I'll just throw in there that it's very common for congregation leaders (whatever you call yours) to have several great recommendations of professional therapists that will also show respect for your religious values.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on May. 11, 2010

  • I'm impressed that he actually recognizes that he has a problem. My dh can also be emotionally abusive but he doesn't see it. It is a constant battle to keep our marriage together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on May. 12, 2010

  • Sounds like a plan. Good luck..and try to understand his frustrations with the healing process. I think your continued patience with him will be the key to your marriage.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on May. 13, 2010

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