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What to do?

I had an affair and and now I'm pregnant. I know it was a terrible mistake and my husband knows about it. We are trying to get through this. The problem is that I don't know if the baby is my husband's or the other man's. If it is the other man's I know I couldn't keep the baby, I would give him/her up for adoption. I'm just looking for thoughts on the situation, please don't judge or bash me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on May. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Does your hubby know you are preg? All you can do is wait. If it is the other mans and you don't think you could handle that or your hubby can't than you should give the child the life he/she deserves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • i was in a similar situation about 20 years ago... i was seeing someone and had been upfront that i was not committed due to his apparent lack of commitment (not following through as opposed to sex with others)... i got messed up one night and had sex with a hot guy... the other guy sensed it, i admitted it. he then decided he wanted me for himself so we became monogamous/committed. then i found out i was pregnant. he decided that dna did not matter to him, that we would raise the child together as our own regardless. she has his name. she looks just like hot guy. unfortunately in my situation, other guy continued his pattern of unreliability/instability and nearly killed my daughter - however, this had nothing to do with dna. i can't imagine giving up a child for adoption - i think it would be very hard for me... you have time to see what happens... what does your husband have to say?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Well if your hubby knows you have cheated then why would a child be a problem? He is going to see your huge belly in a couple of months you might as well tell him now... so he can capture it all in.. whatever you do . do not abort this child. Maybe this child was sent by god to fix your screwed up marriage.
    psychobilly_mom

    Answer by psychobilly_mom at 2:23 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • My marriage is not screwed up, it was a stupid mistake that I chose to make. My husband knows that I am pregnant but neither of us wants to raise a child that will be a constant reminder of this terrible time in our lives. I would never abort the child. I can't kill the baby to cover my sin.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • It sounds like you already have decided what to do. We can be supportive of your decision though.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:31 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Nothing you can do but get a DNA test..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 10:45 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • I don't think your child would be a constant reminder of your bad time. Do you have other children? How would they feel knowing that they have a sibling out there in the world. How will your child feel someday when they want to know why their mom gave them up and they come to find you and see that you have other children that you kept. I think it would be a very sad thing to give th child up for adoption. There is NO way I could do that, the child is half you no matter what the other half is. Even if I was raped there is NO way I could give the child up becuase part of the child is me and no matter how they came into the world they are still an innocent life. PLEASE reconsider adoption and keep the child, I dont think the child would be a constant reminder, I don't look at my step-kids and constantly think about their mom. I think of them as mine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on May. 12, 2010

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