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I think about suicide on a daily basis

I seem to always be at my breaking point. My husband guilt trips me if I say I want to go out and do something solo or with my friends. He doesn't trust me and won't watch the kids well when I go out, so I'll come home sooner. He doesn't want me to work, so I have no money of my own.
I have 3 little kids, 2 who have ADHD and break everything they touch. Plus a toddler in the terrible 2's. My husband doesn't like helping me with them at all if it means getting up. I'm pretty much always isolated from my friends because my husband doesn't like 2 of them, 1 lives a county away, and the other enjoys partying. I'm always lonely, I miss getting attention, and wish I had a husband who would back me up with the kids instead of just scream about them.
When I tell him all this, he throws it in my face that he bought me something/made breakfast/changed a diaper this week and I should be thankful. I am, I just want some me time.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on May. 12, 2010 in Health

Answers (11)
  • If you are serious about this you really need to talk to someone that is not good and tell your husband how you feel, please do not hurt yourself

    Answer by shanda0914 at 10:02 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • It sounds like you need a break. Do you have any family to watch your children? Then you could get out for the day. I remember living like you. Thinking if I took that step to have some me time that I was hurting the kids, or going against my controlling Husband. I'm sorry but the only thing that fixed it was to get a divorce. I'm not telling you to do that though. Sit down with your Hubby, tell him how you're feeling, don't whine about it, be honest and strong about it. GL, hope it all works out for you.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:02 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Sweetie, suicide is never the answer, remember you have little ones you will be leaving behind to fend for themselves, since you say hubby doesn't do much for them. You need to break free from this mans manipulative ways, ask a family member or maybe one of those friends to allow you some me time, you got to put your foot down so hubby has no bearing on picking your friends, but really even thinking about suicide is wrong when you got three little ones that depend on you. I am sending you a big HUG!!!!!!instead of dweling on your situation, stand up and do something about it. Where there is a will there is a way.

    Answer by older at 10:08 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • OP here Thank you. I have told him about it and sadly, it just seems like he helps for a few days, then doesn't do anything. I have to break down every 3 or 4 months from stress before he will help for a few days. Then he gets mad at me for needing the break. I don't have anyone who will watch the baby. He's "too bad" according to my mom and I can't pay a sitter. The only one who will watch the kids is a member of my husbands family, but she won't do it if she knows it's not for her boy. She thinks I should be at my husbands whim. I love him and I think he loves me. But I'm getting tired of living to make everyone else happy and ignoring my own needs. My kids are innocent in this, I don't mean that about them. I just feel like my reward for being a good mom and wife is being on lock down non-stop.

    There are even times when I feel bad about being a mother. Because I love them too much to leave them on purpose, yet hate living.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • i have the same problem i dont think about hurting myself but my husband does the same thing he works hard and deserves a breck all the time tells me i sit at home on my ass all day and he doesnt get it i know how you feel just try and keep in touch with your friends and my husband guilted me for a long time and finally if you get out to have fun do i have fun and oh well some times you have to know you are worth so much and he is not you just need to do something for you and know you are a good mom to your kids a good wife to your husband!

    Answer by saadamarie at 10:13 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • my god i feel you and i have the same problem finding a sitter as well i will pray for you and i think you should try and find some thing to do with the kids we go to the park once a week and i always have a friend meet me and dont hurt your self your kids need you you seem to be all they have and they will appreciate it!!!

    Answer by saadamarie at 10:18 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Honestly, I would dump that sorry piece of Sh*t. He sounds like a worthless SOB and doesn't deserve you. Honestly, I would suggest considering divorcing him and moving on. He is a pathetic person for bringing you down and making you feel this way. You deserve time for yourself just as much as the next person. It doesn't matter if you had children or not, you deserve time for yourself. To relax, rocoupe, and recollect. Don't allow him to hold you back and make you feel guilty. He's a sorry excuse for a father for not making those children his soul priority. He's selfish and an ass for treating you like you don't deserve time for yourself. You DO deserve it.

    Take control of your life again. You CAN do it. You know where to find me if you need anyone to talk to!

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:25 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • I'm begging you... PLEASE GET HELP. Suicidal ideations are serious business. Even if no one around you wants to talk to you about it or thinks you're "crazy"... GET HELP. I've gone through these thoughts MANY MANY MANY times and the best thing you can do is call someone or go to your local ER right away. I agree that you def need a break, but suicidal ideations are really serious. Please don't play this off. Get help now.

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 10:33 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • Tell him to get over it my x used to be like that. First ((((HUGS)))) its hard when someone is so selfish, Second you have to have me time so if I were you I would start a play group or look for one in your area. Three I would get online and start looking for some online classes something you want to do and when you take them it will also help you find and meet people. I would also tell him wow you did it once. You have to teach him how to treat you and I know because my x was like that, We live together because I am in college and starting my own business. Do what you have to do and think about where you have to be and what it is going to take to make you happy work on it. You are an adult and you should do what you need to to make your life important. Last get a copy of The Art Of War.


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:38 AM on May. 12, 2010

  • You must take care of yourself and find yourself. Getting help for this is a good idea and also everything I said to you before once you are in a better place plan sometime to take your life back. I am here if you need some support. you can pm me or IM me

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:40 AM on May. 12, 2010

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